July 31, 2008
July 30, 2008
- Eric graduated with his MBA.
- I got my first full time teaching job.
- Duh we got married!
- Eric got his MIS.
- I had surgery.
- Found out we were pregnant with first baby
- Moved to Austin
- Eric got his first post graduate real job at Norwood.
- G-man was born
- purchased, well start the process of building our first home.
- Traveled a lot to Florida to visit my parents.
- Lost both my grandfather and Eric's grandfather.
- Moved into our first home.
- Found out was pregnant with second child.
- Lost Eric's other grandfather
- Bee was born.
- Eric started working in San Antonio
- I started selling Creative Memories and got into scrapbooking.
- Eric started working in Indianapolis, and then half way through the year stopped working for Norwood.
- Found out we were pregnant with number 3.
- Eric started working independently
- Two was born.
- Eric started working for Hart
- I was introduced to Heritage Makers and switched from traditional to digital scrapbooking.
- Eric's grandmother passed away.
- Eric's parents went on a mission.
- My parents moved to Utah, leaving us with out a place to go vacation to.
- G-man started Kindergarten
- Eric traveled all the time, including many trips to Hawaii
- Found out we were pregnant with number four.
- Had T-rex.
- I got really sick.
- In laws came home from their mission.
- Sold our first home, for exactly what we bought it for six years ago, crazy market.
- I lost my grandmother.
- Moved to Hawaii
- Bee started kindergarten
- Found out we were pregnant with number five.
JUST KIDDING on the number five thing! Just seemed like I had a pattern going on :)
It has been a wonderful nine years and I look forward to many more and all the many things that will happen. I know there are a lot of gaps in my time line, especially because my mind is not fully functioning with a screaming child on my lap.
July 28, 2008
Our very own beach Bumble Bee, what out boys she stings!
Little Two loves to dig in the shade.
Dad and T-rex enjoy the nice warm water. Though after swimming in the sea and playing in the sand it took T-rex three hours to be able to open up his eyes. Poor little guy.
G-man with his total surfer hair that he won't let me cut! Looking tan and all locally!
My little clan aren't they so stinking cute!!
Anyway here in the great state of Hawaii, they have what they call year round school. They do get about two months off for summer. They start on Wednesday.
The kids have their backpacks packed and new clothes for school. They are excited. I should be excited, I mean two less kids to worry about during the day. But I am not. I am racked with fear and sadness and a bunch of unexplained feelings.
As much as I enjoy sending my kids off to school, I am really sad to see them go. I feel like we haven't had enough time together. I mean Bee is starting kindergarten and from now on I will no longer have her home with me full time. She is now a part of the great public school system, only to be returned to me at nights and weekends and vacations. Its a joint custody kind of thing and I want full custody.
But I really can't home school, even with my education background. I am just not organized enough. Truly my grandiose plans of summer reading and learning flew out the window and were replaced by swimming and playing. I so thought that every week we would have a fun trip to the Library, well our first was our last.
Anyway, it will be okay and hopefully my kids total lack of summer mental stimulation won't put them too far behind. And maybe just maybe I will enjoy the little tiny bit of peace enough that I will feel some peace about this joint custody thing.
However, even though I don't really go to myspace I kind of like the layout of it a little better. Not sure why. And really not sure why I am posting about this.
I do think however it has been much easier to find friends on facebook and have found a lot of friends as of recent.
It just seems that I didn't have as many friends on myspace. So is Facebook more an older person version of Myspace? Did Myspace get the rap of being an unsafe place? Is it a fad? Or is it I haven't logged in to Myspace for several months and all y'all are waiting for my friend approval?
Oh such a random thought mess, to post or not to post? What the heck why not. And hey if you are on facebook let me know!
Back in Austin Facebook was the way we got our sitter to babysit, easier to catch them there than on the phone!
July 26, 2008
Yeah that's what I thought!
If you sign up by the end of July the year membership is free, and you can buy the product at wholesale.
Please take a look at the blog to find out some more of the amazing facts about Form and Fixx, and I have to say Fixx shakes are amazingly packed with lots of good for you things, like spinach and other fruits and veggies.
1. The swimming pool: the kids don't know that I take them there for me more than them.
2. Costco: our most convenient grocery store
3. The Park: got to get a back yard but not complaining too much
4. UMMM....I don't go anywhere much.
4 People who call/Text/Email me regularly
4. ummm...again things haven't been ringing much lately HINT :)
4 Favorite food
2. chicken enchilada with deluxe green tomatillo sauce from Chuys...oh I miss good tex mex
3. A good steak-Aly
4. Hamburger and French fries-good 'ol American girl
4 Places I'd rather be
1. Hawaii-visiting my sister (that was my sister, and I'd rather have her visiting me here too)
2. Asleep in my bed with out kids ( its a little after two am)
3. Most days just at home, I like going out but some days I don't want to fill the "where are we going what are we doing today" order.
4. In a small European town with Eric walking down the cool cobble stone streets admiring the century old buildings.
4 Movies I'd watch over and over
1. Steel magnolias
2. My Girl
3. Girls just want to have fun
4. While you were sleeping
4 Bands/Groups I love to listen to...
1. Lone Star
3. A good country radio station
4. I don't listen to much anymore, but I love that bubbly song by Kolby Collet?? Don't know how to spell her name.
The 4 People I am tagging are....
Any one who would like to do this because it is too late, or too early I should say to even think straight. But if I were to assign I'd say
July 24, 2008
The Clayton Valley High School Athletic Hall of Fame committee would like to announce that you have been selected to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. Our last meeting was yesterday and our final selections were made.
We will be sending to you,by mail, additional information. Again, congratulations.
So today I was hired to help finish re tile the kitchen in the warehouse--the place was filthy nasty dirty! In order for me to go I had to get a sitter to watch the kids.
As we were driving back home, I was trying to figure out what I should pay our wonderful sitter. So we decided to pay her basically 1/2 of what I was paid, so we each earned the same amount for the day. Anyway, we had to get the cash from the ATM which y'all know only spits out in $20 bills. So we got the money out and realized that we needed to break it because she'd be making more than what I did.
How do we break the change? We go to Burger King to get a burger. I started to laugh! Don't see the humor in it yet? Well, instead of just paying her the extra money we basically decided to eat it! Grant it we needed lunch, but I couldn't help but laugh. The logic just seemed so silly. I mean really, "lets get a whopper to get change to pay the sitter." Instead of over paying her we ate.
It still makes me laugh. Do I laugh alone?
July 22, 2008
As I stepped into the elevator to go to the our floor, I know since I was working out I probably should have hiked the stairs, but I was tired, the elevator doors shut and I could smell very strongly the perfume of the last rider. I began to wonder if the next person getting in would smell my swet and unbrushed morning breath, or would they still smell the perfume?
July 21, 2008
As I said "guys I am not going to even say it. You know what you should be doing.", I heard a loud "crack, crunch."
Followed by Bee saying "I stepped on something mysterious." Yes she used those exact words. Me being one that doesn't like stopping along the way, encouraged them to keep walking. However her pleading of "come see what I stepped on, what is it?" intrigued the whole family. With in a few seconds we were all looking. This is what we found.
Do you know what the mysterious thing is?
July 20, 2008
Yesterday after our nightmare car shopping experience, we hit the beach with the kids. The trade winds are up causing the surf to be a little rough and the water to be a bit churned with sand and other debree (can't seem to spell the word right.)
We lathered up and hit the beach. Eric and I took turns taking the kids into the water. Don't know how much you know about surf, because honestly I don't know much, but the waves were breaking right on the sand, crashing their mighty whites quickly down and rushing back to sea. So once you got out of the crash you were in "calmer" waters, bringing at sometimes 10-15 swells. I held a child (with a life jacket on- amazing how it helped me tread during the swells where I could no longer touch) and we would bob up and down.
Every once in awhile I would get the crazy idea to ride the swells in. Mind you as I mentioned earlier they were crashing right on the shore and rushing back out, not making it a very easy ride in, because basically you just hit flat on the sand once the wave crashed. So I had B in her jacket and we were riding a swell in, when it just smashed us on the sand, and following it must have been its bestest wave friend, because it smashed on top of us, and B held tightly on me, riding me like a surf board on to the shore. We both giggled, but couldn't see through the sand in our eyes and hair that covered our faces. And not to mention the sand that crept into every little crevice possible. I mentioned to her that we needed to go back out to "rinse" off.
We were able to rinse relatively well. And at this point I was a little done. But G-man wanted me to take him. I did, and something similar happened, though this time we took G-man's boogie board in so we road that in crashing on the sand.
But despite the hard hits, we had a blast and we kept going back for more, being a little more careful about our transition from swells to land.
And this morning as I cleaned my ears, pulling more sand than anything else, I smiled and thought "Man that was fun."
I think we have officially gone from "summer vactioners" to summer dwellers. I think life in paradise has just become life. Don't get me wrong I love driving around and looking at the beauty but life has set in. We live here. We have to grocery shop. Eric has to work.
So for this week.
I might have to go back wards starting with yesterday because that seems to be as far as I can remember at this point.
- We tried to buy a car yesterday. Well we almost got sucked into the buy this car because you won't find a better deal warp and realized that we could find a better deal and that we just don't really want to spend money on a car right now. But we didn't realize that until after spending the whole morning and into the afternoon with the sales guys. Finally Eric said to them "we're done and we are leaving." To which they wanted to know where in the sales did they drop the ball. Our only reply was "we stopped by to look and four hours later, we are ready to take the kids to the beach. We will think it over. If we decide the deal is a good one we will be back Monday. If the car is gone, we will find another."
- We left the dealership and headed to the beach. Which deserves it very own post. Which you may have already read at this point.
-G-man got his cast off this week! Yeah. Though I am not sure it is totally healed. Because at one point while we were waiting in the car for Eric to buy the other car, I grabbed G-man's arm, not any different than I ever do, and he cried. He is also being very protective of it and holds it away from things. So I get to call into the doctors tomorrow to check that out.
-G-man also lost another tooth while we were having his cast off party pancake. It just fell out with a bite. Unfortunately the tooth fairy forgot to get his tooth that he so carefully placed in a baggie under his pillow, that he pulled out in the morning wondering what had happened with the tooth fairy.
-I trained all week, to help train the poll workers for the upcoming elections. I had training every night from 6-10 and decided I am getting too "old" to stay out that late every night. I don't know how mom's work at night after watching their kids all day. Man I haven't been so tired since I was last pregnant. Sure hope I'm not pregnant. Ok random thought. But anyway it was very tiring. But it actually was fun for me to go out and mingle with other adults with out children. Anyway if you have any questions on using and e-scan or e-slate voting machines, I 'm your gal.
-T-rex started "swimming" he likes to go back and forth between adults. He is so cute, he just closes is eyes, shuts his mouth real tight and pops his head under the water. Such a thrill.
-B went out with a friend to see a movie, while we took G-man to the doctors. She had a blast.
(I know this post must have you totally captivated at this point,... I am sorry no wonder the lack of comments lately, see I have hit a writer's block. Just wait for my beach post.)
-Two has become quite the little swimmer as well and is finding her way around the pool. I always get a puff of pride, when people ask how old she is and then state "wow she is good did she take lessons." then I get to say "no I just worked with her." I don't know makes me feel like I have accomplished something you know.
Well yeah that is about all for our week....Oh no....wait....we got couches yesterday! Not super nice ones. Not new ones. Not something I might pick out of a store. But couches! And I have to say nothing makes a house more of a home than having a place to park your rump after a long long week.
July 18, 2008
A-Attached or Single? Attached
B-Best Friend? eric
C-Cake or Pie? Pie
D-Day of choice? saturday
E-Essential item? chocolate
F-favorite color? Green
G-Gummy Bears or Worms? worms
I-Favorite Indulgence? peanut m & ms
J-January or July? July
L-Life isn't complete without? Gospel
M-Marriage date? july 30, 1999
N-Number of brothers and sisters? 2 brothers, 2 sister
O-oranges or apples? Probably oranges
P-Phobias and fears? listung them....and large crowds
Q-Quote? (I'll do a short one) "because I said so."
S-Season of choice?Summer
T-Tag 3 people - Aly, Mandy, Stephanie
U-Unknown fact about me? I wore a body cast for three months of my life.
V-Vegetable? romaine lettuce
W-Worst habit? picking at things
X-X-ray or Ultrasound? Ultrasound
Y-Your favorite food? Hamburger
Z-Zodiac Sign? Aquarius
July 17, 2008
But the other day, I told Eric that I wanted to make cookies. Several days in a row I mentioned I wanted to make some cookies. Since we hadn't yet bought all the ingredients to do so and I wasn't in the mood to buy it yet, but really wanted to make them but couldn't. Later, Eric so nicely offered to go to the store to do some needed grocery shopping. I mentioned once more to him that I really wanted to make cookies.
Eric came home with.....no not the needed baking soda, or vanilla, or chocolate chips but pre-made cookie dough. The idea of it already done was wonderful. So I spooned out the cookie dough on the sheet, yes I too took a taste of the dough. When the buzzer beeped and the cookies were done, I ate one, or two or maybe three. But still had an empty feeling that usually making cookies fills for me.
Then it dawned on me.
I don't like eating cookies, even though I do eat them.
I don't like eating cookie dough, though it tastes good.
I like actually physically making cookies! Making them brings me some sort of comfort. Maybe because it is something I am actually doing to bring a little bit of joy to others. I don't know. But I never knew that I took comfort from making cookies more than I did eating them.
Thanks for bringing home the premade cookie dough Eric! Because making cookies is a lot cheaper than therapy!
Why is it that everytime I go out I am asked "Are THOSE ALL your kids?" I mean really do you think my idea of fun is to go to the grocery store with four screaming kids?
Why is it that when you have a baby sitter over and the kids go to bed at 8 and you show up at 10 and the house looks worse than when you left it?
Why is it that I look different in the mirror than I do in my pictures?
Why is it that when I put sun screen on me, I still get burnt in some spots?
Why is it that when you take your kids some where fun for several hours, and when you tell them its time to go they throw a fit rather than just say "thanks that was a fun day?"
Why don't I have the answers to all questions?
Why does T-Rex love playing with cords and pulling out items from all drawers, cupboards and boxes?
Why does it take an hour to clean up a mess that happened in less than five minutes?
Why don't dishwasher's load and unload themselves?
Why must every day start with "Mom"?
July 16, 2008
- There are no weird drugs involved that will speed up your metabolism or cause heart problems.
- It was started as a slow release capsule for people with diabetes, basically they wanted the insulin to slowly go through the digestive tract more or less, and then realized that this was "filling" and thus came the idea for weighloss.
- I put a sample in a glass of water. It made that congealed gelatin stuff, looked like a slurpee and then I decided to add lemon juice, my own idea of stomach acid, and it has broken the stuff down.
- If you go to my site and sign up you are signing up for free to be a customer with benefits, meaning that you can either continue as a customer, or as multi level marketing works, you can get customers to sign up under you and then you become a distributor. It will be $30 to sign up (kind of a costco membership type fee). So to sign up now while it is free, and try it out doesn't hurt, especially if you are thinking you might want to try it out.
Anyway just thought I would throw those bits of information out to you, if you are interested. No pressure. I will let you know how it goes for me.
July 15, 2008
I have recently discovered that small children have a built in radar devise to help them find things, similar to a bat that sends out sounds to tell him where to go.
You haven't noticed?
Listen carefully so next time you will be able to spot it, it goes something like this:
"Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom" walking around the house, into every single room. "Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom." Because they are paying special attention to the "mom" sound bouncing off the walls to help navigate through the house, they are unable to hear the "Yes? I am here, what do you need?" sound coming from the adult, who assumes they are looking for them. This mom sound can get very confused sometimes with the Mom name. It takes a trained ear to dissipher the sounds.
But don't let this fool you, this is only their radar system, looking for a room that feels safe or maybe a toy, or possibly their next bite of food, and they will tune out any calls from someone else trying to guide them, for their systems are new, and they need to personally see how they work and find where they are going by repeating this sound.
The radar also works in waking up other sleeping children, because this radar is set at an audiable level for any young child, which later develops into a high pitch noise that can cause a migraine in any adult. So use wisely young ones.
July 14, 2008
July 13, 2008
Yesterday while Eric had a business meeting at home, I took the kids out for a little shopping. Not something I really enjoy, shopping that is, and add kids and it is truly not my favorite thing. Though I have to admit I really miss my weekly trips to Walmart. Not that there isn't one here, and just as "close" as there was one before but it is in the heart of down town and lots of people and I just really don't do that well...anyway so on with our Saturday adventures.
On our outing we acquired:
a boogie board (not pictured)
two monster truck hot wheels
a doll stroller (which T-Rex likes to sit in)
a doll bed
a doll carseat
a see and say (not pictured)
a TV with VCR (not pictured and not like we really need a VCR but hey!)
3 large stuffed pigs (already named Piggie, Pinky and Peach)
1 Large Build a bear dog (named Bella)
beads for making jewelry
bubbles, bubbles and more bubble stuff (oh that was a fun time blowing them off the Lanai last night, actually the wind did most of the blowing.)
and a Unicorn.
And before you think I have over indulged my kids, know that not only did I get them all these new fun toys to play with since we left behind all in Texas, I introduced them to the fun of Garage Selling! Hopefully it won't become our new favorite Saturday morning activity. Though I still really really want a couch.
Yes we hit a couple of garage sales and I have to say we didn't do too bad. They're happy. I am happy because as G-man said "we have lots to do now to keep us busy and out of your way."
The best part was when we got back in the car the kids said "Thank you Mom! You are the best mom ever!" Amazing what a little cash and a little time, and some toys can do to win you that title.
You look around.
You run a little mental check list...yep...yep...yep....
You ask your nearest and dearest "Does something seem wrong?"
You search as if you even knew what it is you are looking for?
You all of a sudden feel lost?
So what can it be?
I don't know I will let you know when I find it.
July 10, 2008
Here in the west of coarse!
Yesterday I met two! Yes count them ONE, TWO!
Before you count me lucky and put a green clover on my head, let me tell you about our fun encounters.
The first one I like to call Hansel and Gretel's Witch. And of all place she chose to retire and work at, she picked the Library. As soon as I walked in I had her pegged, I knew she was a witch. She was on top of my kids faster than they could get to the children's book section, yelling at them telling them to use their inside Library voices....I felt like putting my finger to my lips telling her the same thing.
The amazing thing is I didn't see a broom or her flying around but the second one of my kids made a peep she was hovering by my shoulder reminding me and them about library voices.
To top it all off, I filled out library cards for "those that can sign their names" only. Which was G -man and B. Well B signs her paper filling the whole line with her full first name. No last name down. Well so I call B over to have her write her last name because it just wasn't an acceptable signature unless her last name was on it. And "how would she fit her signature on her card?" the lady commented. I had B write her last name and it took up the whole bottom paper.
This really sent her into a fizzy, because "it wouldn't fit on the card."
"Plus" she continued, "the administration office needs to be able to read her signature. They can't read this."
To which I really wanted to blurt "Who can read anyone's signature?????" But I said as politely as I could muster up, which wasn't much "Let's just forget about getting her a card."
B standing behind me started to arch her back and begin her stance to throw a fit, when she discovered she couldn't get a card. I looked at her and said "Don't even start. You ask her why you can't get a card." She peered at the lady and stopped her fit. I guess there are some benefits of being a mean old lady.
Now why she gets the Hansel and Gretel Witch award, she seemed to lighten up to us, not sure if it was the screaming or she saw the potential of fattening us up and eating us. Because when I asked her if it was too late to join the summer reading club, she quickly and harshly said, "yes." Then she got a smile and said "well, here they can have the treats, how many are they?"
So the kids left with some cool rulers and a sticker. Yeah I know your secret your aren't fooling me lady. I am watching you.
Then the true Wizard of Oz witch with hat, warts and everything flew in to the swimming pool with her blue swim suit and white robe, trying to disguise her self, I assume. She didn't fool anyone and especially not the kids. I am assuming she put on her water repellent from neck down so she wouldn't melt, but she must have not put it on her face because she kept yelling at the kids splashing, from across the pool.
The best is when she thudded across the pool area, you could hear her steps, every hard and semi paced step towards B who was squirting a water gun. I guess B had some of the better encounters with the witches yesterday. She yelled at her for squirting the pool deck. She grabbed her shoulder and yelled at her "who is your parent." Then turned "who does this child belong to?" I got a little upset, and have replayed several times what I should have said "like get your rotten hands off her" or some other unpleasantries. But instead I said "I am and I have told her to make sure she doesn't spray into the pool." at you across the way so you don't melt...well I didn't add that part but was thinking it.
This lady was on a fit of rage. And was circling the pool like a hungry shark ready to attack its innocent prey. Everyone, I mean everyone was hovering on the sides of the pool, afraid of her. She yelled at every child, especially those with some water guns. Some nice man was like "show me where there is a rule that water guns are not allowed in the pool."
She stomped out of the pool walked over to the gate, and fakely read "no toys." To which the man said "I am sorry all I read is no boogie boards, there is nothing about toys.
But to appease her and to avoid being turned into a newt or something we all made our kids obey and stay out of her way, which meant squirting the plants with the water guns.
As she hopped on her broom to fly away, someone asked her "did you have a nice swim?"
She looked over to me and said "Not today!"
Then she looked again at me and said "I'll get your my pretty and your little daughter too!" and cackled as she stomped out. Well not really but she really could of with the look she gave me.
All I can say is, if you don't like kids, don't come swimming in the afternoons during the summer. And we tried our best to not splash or disturb the water!
So there you have it, two witch spottings in one day. I wonder why they chose Hawaii?
would you use the same consideration in picking that name?
Not sure how you say it, but yep that is it it.
Just maybe thats me?
I don't know.
July 09, 2008
Anyway July you can sign up for free to be a distribuitor/customer to get your samples and pills for less. click here to check out more information. Sign up now while it is FREE!
To watch the video click here.
Again, sign up under me by going to https://www.myo3world.com/4760519
July 08, 2008
As we walked along the path little lizards would scurry out of our way, heading for the safety of the rocks and the bushes. Well one little lizard was not as fortunate to get away. B slyly hovered over him and snatched him up. Quite amazing actually considering the little guys' speed.
She carried him all the way home, where G-man ran in and grabbed a shoe box in which he stuffed the leaves and flowers he had gathered on the way home to make "Lizzy" a nice home.
Eric got home late, and the kids really wanted to show him there new pet. I think he is a bit afraid of the mini reptile because he wouldn't go look at him. Then their pleadings this morning for him to check out their prize was only met with his comments on how it was cruel to stick the lizard in a box. And that "they are slowly killing it."
We spoke to them a bit about how he needs to be out in nature. He needs food. He needs his freedom. We told him it was cruel to keep it in the box. This lead to G-man's response of "But we live in a box."
Maybe our apartment does look a little boxy but we did explain that we do have food and water, and are free to move about and go out whenever we want.
But it made me think about how in live sometimes we are that little lizard, going about our normal day to day activities when that big hand in the sky, picks us up, carries us with our legs and arms kicking, until we calm down playing dead. Then "the hands" throw us into a box, in which there has been some leaves and flowers and maybe a little dixie cup of water placed so carefully for us. And there we are kept to figure out where we are, what we are doing here, and figure out how we will survive.
And like this morning, eventually the hands that trapped you, take you for another walk and set you free back to where you were. Are you better for your little "trip" maybe, are you scared? Possibly?
But you know it is all part of life, sometimes you are going about just happy and content to be, and then swipe you are caught, and your life is changed.
It just happens.
July 07, 2008
July 06, 2008
- the fire alarm goes off at 3:45 AM for fifteen minutes, waking the family up, well most of the family, good thing it wasn't a real fire alarm.
- The fire alarm goes off again at 4:55 am just as you finally lay back down again.
- You wake up feeling like you really just want to stay home.
- Your kids won't put their church clothes on.
- They spill cereal all over the floor just before you walk out, having the urge to vacuum but can't be late.
- Your daughter has been asked to give the scripture in primary.
- Your children have been up since the first ear pieciing high pitched alarm went off.
- You get to church, everyone goes to class and your first lesson is well enjoyed.
- You spend Sunday School in the halls with a crying baby.
- Someone sees you hushing a baby and asks if you are ok, when you are already asking yourself, "why am I even here?"
- You sit down in sacrament meeting and lay a finally sleeping baby on the pew and think to yourself this isn't going to be so bad.
- Your three year old pushes your sleeping baby almost on to the floor waking him making him cry.
- Your seven year old eats all the snacks, causing the others to cry.
- Your three year old, spills the sacrament water cups, and throws one accross the aisle.
- Your seven year old, won't sit still, laying down on the pew, kicking his sisters.
- Your five year old starts screaming and crying because she wants to get out to go get some water.
- Your baby starts crying again because you won't let him crawl over the pew.
- Your husband looks at you like what are you doing here.
- You leave for the second time with a child to the foyer.
- You leave again with another child, and are followed by other children out.
- Everyone is sitting down coloring and then one calls another one a dummy head out loud because who knows what.
- Your three year old starts spitting on her dad, telling him "no." for who knows what reason.
- Your five year old wants a snack, and you don't have one, and she throws a huge fit.
- You take out a three year old because she was spitting on her dad.
- You leave a one year old on the pew with rest of family who starts screaming because "mom left the building."
- You come back to get the baby to be followed out by two others.
- You sit in the hall, and the older sisters at church give you the look and smiles and say "oh what a sweet family you have. I remember those days. Don't know how I survived it."
But you know we went, not sure we learned, but do know that we were suppose to be there. I feel sorry for those around us who wanted to attend church and not the circus.
This morning I was hit hard by the loss of my nephew. It is amazing how thoughts can lead you somewhere, but I was thinking about talking in church today, I spoke last week. I thought that good thing we don't have to speak today, and began to wonder about the speakers today and then remembered it was fast Sunday because it is the first Sunday of the month. Then I recalled that I spoke in church the Sunday after Little Daniel passed away and how when I started to speak I began to cry and my father in law mentioned to me later he didn't get why I was so emotional until I mentioned later that my brother and his wife had just lost their baby. Anyway it flooded to me the memories of the things people say to you after a loss of a loved one.
Many times I go to visit my brother and his family, and Little Daniel enters my mind, and I miss him so. This last trip out there for spring break, I was invited in by my niece Hayley for some lunch and I just got teary eyed missing him. It is hard to explain. I guess that is why I am jotting down my thoughts today.
My little G-man and Daniel are just a few months apart. How excited I was to learn that he would have a cousin his age, actually there were to be three little boy cousins.
Anyway, this is the first year I didn't send out flowers to them on his birthday. It's not that I have forgotten, and actually I just can't imagine how hard it must be for them at this time, because I have been hit hard grieving his life lost today.
But back to my father in laws comment to me about how he wasn't sure why I was so sad, not about Daniel's loss, but at the beginning of my talk. And anyway the thought made me think about how we as people have really no idea how to deal with loss or really know what to say. I heard so many things to me those few months after his passing that really upset me and he wasn't my son. I understand that others have the best intentions when they share their condolences but sometimes well I don't know what would be best to say. I think that is why when over at my brother's house, I don't all of a sudden say "Man I miss Daniel." when I feel the urge to say so.
I think part of me is afraid to bring up those feelings, one because I will cry and two I don't want to make others cry. But I wonder if, and most likely they are, feeling the same. And I am sure they would appreciate the knowledge that someone else is feeling the same.
Not sure if any of this is making sense.
I just know that Little Daniel is missed. By me. By my parents. By his grandparents. His parents. Our siblings. His siblings.
Something I have learned about grief, I don't know if there ever is a right thing to say. And I think a baby dying leaves many areas of uncertainty of what to say. I do know this, these are probably things you don't want to say (all of which I heard and he wasn't my baby and I didn't like hearing it)
"At least he wasn't her first!" Well not sure what comfort that is, because my goodness, that's like telling someone who just lost their mom and say "well at least you have your dad."
Or "at least she didn't really get to know him." I think that is the hardest thing, you carry the child the full nine months, expecting to see him turn one, drive you crazy when he is two, fall off his bike, start school. I can only imagine the wondering about what he would be like.
"He will at least be in heaven and she'll get to raise him later." Well what about now? I sometimes just wish I could call my brother to find out what kind of trouble he is in. Or just how he is doing.
Anyway, I just want to let D and W know that I love them. That my heart is hurting at this time, not most likely in any way as yours, but it is. I miss little Daniel and the life we never got to know. But do look forward to the day we get to know this amazing person.
I love you guys!
July 02, 2008
- While walking with your children in the double stroller, it is important to buckle them up especially the one in front, who falls asleep, because as you go down the hill and over the curb she may fall flat on the hot pavement and burn her unshoed feet.
- If you want to get a library card, your name needs to be on the utility bill not just your husbands.
- Dance Dance Revolution is a great game but not if you live on the fourth floor of a complex, your neighbors might not appreciate it.
- Sunblock really works, and while lathering your face you might not want to forget your ears. Burnt ears aren't very fun.
- Humidity and salt air really make you sticky.
- Goldfish may be harmless little creatures but if you are a dead duck in the water you will become prey.
- If you want to swim with dolphins you will have to take your children's college funds to pay for it.
- It only takes about two weeks from moving for others to stop calling you. (there is a five hour difference from Texas though)
- Coconuts don't land quietly or softly from the fourth floor.
- Dryer sheets really should be used as fabric softeners and not as "man I left the wash in the washer too long lets make the clothes smell "clean" not mildewy."