September 26, 2009

Wants to be on TV or something....

This week after posting the Facebook status update "Corrine having an allergic reaction to stress." I was promted by others to write in to Dr. Oz, if Dr. House was real, he'd probably have me in his office by now.

But I didn't stop by writing in to Dr. Oz, I also hit up his buddy Oprah...though she only allows 2000 characters and I can't sum up my life problems in just 2000 characters, so I hit Dr. Phil. I think between the three of them maybe they can solve my life problems, most likely my email will get lost in the mist of the thousands of emails they get daily but who knows maybe my wit and charm and over all NEEDiness will shine through.

Now wouldn't that be odds, be contacted by all three?? Yeah right....anyway, so if I am lucky I will be soon high blood pressure free, breast reduced and a stress freed mother of four!

Wish me luck :)

September 22, 2009

Missing socks

My kids and I are searching though a laundry basket to find all the missing socks..how do we have a basket full of socks and no matches? Where do they all go?

Missing socks such a quandary, kind of like time, where does it go? How does it move so fast?

I lay in bed this morning thinking about how if this past family trial were a pregnancy I'd be holding a brand new baby, having sleepless nights taking care of a beautiful infant, instead I am having sleepless nights wondering how I am going to take care of the ones I have.

A cloud of overwhelmingness hung/hangs over my head this morning. Not sure how we are going to make it and yet wondering how we made it this far. But some how time has gone on and we are here today.

Am I better for the time that passed? Or am I missing some matches to life lessons?

Why am I going through this? Is it my fault? Do I need to learn something? Do people around me need to learn something from me? I think its a lot of everything, just a lot of single socks around me, waiting to find their match, each question searching for its answer.

I know we will get through this struggle, we always do. Though it is hard when you are in the mist of it all, just like staring at this pile of hundreds of miss matched socks. You start with one and go from there, and life you start with one thing and go from there.

My starting sock is going to be my blessings. I have had friend email me recently that is going through a similar circumstance, and she suggested I write down the blessings and lessons I am learning through this all...

  • it is ok to ask other for help and it is ok to get help!
  • I know what it is really what I need to live on and what I can live with out, you know knowing the difference between true needs and wants.
  • simple things bring simple pleasures
  • sitting up at night talking and reading stories is the best type of entertainment
  • family can not be replaced with money or things
  • friends are wonderful, and you know who are your true friends in rough times.
  • there are assistance programs out there to help you get on your feet and its ok to call on them.
  • life isn't fair and that is ok.
  • I feel better prepared to be there for others.
  • I have realized how little we can live on.
  • I have some cool talents and need to share them more with others.
  • I have a wonderful husband and if we can get through this we can get through anything.
  • I love Ogden!
  • someone else always has it worse and there is always an opportunity to serve
  • you don't have to have money to serve
  • when you serve others you do forget about yourself and your problems and Heavenly Father looks out for you.
  • you are never alone.

Well I have to get these socks folded and Two off to preschool!

September 20, 2009

Just one of those days...

Tossing and turning in bed this morning, my mind fluttered to the strange dreams I had in the night of people from my past, some who have played a major role and others who just stepped into my life and left as fast as they came...and some how that trickle of thoughts led to more random thoughts of names.

Like how is it ok that some letters, initials if you will, make a great name and others just don't work? We have a friend K.C. that works but take Eric you got E.D. and that just doesn't work so well. I have known some J.Rs, J.T, J.D....but how often do you hear of someone going by S.D. or B.S. or C.F...L.M.....S.N...or H.E? Anyway really random thoughts I know, but really have you ever wondered how some letters work better together than others?

And all this was going on in my mind as I should of been out of bed getting ready for church. But no my mind was wandering around wondering where on earth that one kid who sat next to me in chemistry, who pierced his nipples....went? And why some letters make better names?

As I was about to get out of bed, I noticed the blinds, that were ripped apart by my two year old last night. How on earth did he do that? I mean I have had blinds for eight plus years with children and then my last goes and does this?? How does that happen?

Then Bee mentions that we should have another baby....no make that four more...yeah diverted that conversation to time to take showers and get ready. I mean there are only twenty five more minutes til church starts, and yeah Eric and I teach the nursery age kids...so we kind of have to be on time.

Rushing around the house we all get ready. When I notice I need to put the dishes in the dish washer, all the while screaming to my children to find their shoes....Shoes, "where are my shoes?" as shoes go flying from the cabinet all over the floor, a left, a right, a sandal, a tennis shoe...."Where are all the matches?" The thought quickly comes to mind to organize them...oh wait just five minutes til church starts...."Everyone just find a stinking pair! We are late!"

Out the door we run. We did, we ran up the stairs...why did I say stairs, the street and make it just in time..barely. Nursery was fine. kids were mostly glad to be there. Stories, singing, lessons and snacks....then off to Sacrament Meeting....Oh boy..T-Rex...was not happy to be there at all, kicking and screaming I took him out to the foyer...where he kicked and screamed some more.

And while trying to hold him and keep him quiet my skirt kept slipping down. I tugged at it, I tried to get it to stop slipping down. Something just wasn't right. And T-Rex was just being a toot, so I took him home.

After I got him down, I went to the restroom, and noticed again something wasn't quite right with my skirt....I didn't remember the seam on the outside....DUH! Its inside out! Sweet! I went almost three hours with it inside out...no wonder it was fitting funny!

But what can you expect when your mind is wondering about peoples' names , and how to organize the shoe mess, it just doesn't have time to process the correct way of putting on a skirt.

Side Note: after church we went to celebrate my niece and nephews birthday in Lehi. We had a great time. Fun to get together with the whole family!

And my mom helped me take out my stitches..I tried earlier and got one out..mostly left part of it so figured someone needed to help me. Thanks Mom!

September 18, 2009

Flash back Friday: Laughter

Today I decided I needed some laughter, some things to bring a smile to my face and yours...so here are some past post, of days when I wrote funny stuff :)

FEEL the BURN Bee!





CInderella IN crack

The kids luckily as much as they drive me crazy make me laugh.

They were in the shower the other day and I heard G-Man ask someone to pass him the Air Conditioning.....um you mean the Hair conditioner?? :)

While sitting at the table, me laying in bed, dying this week, the kids told my friend that:

Bee "When I am a mom I am just going to stand there and yell at my kids 'clean up that mess NOW!' thats what my mom does.

G-Man "I am just going to let my kids make all the messes they want and not even care."

friend "G I think you might change your mind when you are older."

"Oh no I won't. I will just let them make whatever messes they want, and I won't ever yell at them to make them clean it up."

Two: "When I a mom, I am gonna be mean like mine. You are a nice mom."

and lately T-Rex's most clear statement is "Stop it Mommy" nice huh! Though I am not the only one that gets "stop it" from him.

They are cute. And I know they love me and surely do keep me HUMBLE!

September 17, 2009

I'm a loser

OK maybe I am not a total loser, but have you ever had those moments, where someone asks you a question, you answer and all of a sudden in your mind you see the thumb and the pointer finger shaped like an L and placed on their forehead? And in that very moment you know you are a loser.

I feel like a LOSER!

Today I took the kids in to the doctor, and yes I admit we are on medicaid. And recently I was reading a posting, reading threw a thread where someone mentioned how they aren't a loser they are raising their kids on their own and not needing government assistance and on and on. For some reason it hit me hard. "Am I a total loser, for having my children and now being in a situation where we need assistance to raise them?" Then at the office the receptionist was asking me questions about employer...um yeah have none....and such questions and I just could feel the L on my forehead getting bigger.

Yes I have four kids, no I don't have a job.
I have been looking.
I didn't get one I interviewed for this week.
No I don't have any income.
Yes I will be responsible if insurance doesn't pay.
Yes I feel stupid right now.

Then this week, with my foot accident and coming down with the worst of my stomach pain and ills, my friends stood up to the plate and totally took care of me. To be honest, it was such a blessing and so needed. I was literally knee deep in poop! And was feeling so bad, I was at my last wit ends. And then my friends came to rescue me, cleaning up the messes, helping get kids to bed, bringing me some meals, folding laundry, fixing my water heater, and just taking care of me!

But I felt, feel like a loser for needing help. But I so appreciate it!!! I guess we all need help at some time. IT at some times we all need to help others. That's what makes the world go around right? Thanks again friends for truly being a blessing in my life.

September 14, 2009

I thrive on Change

or something like that. I guess more than anything some days I just want to be a bum, and don't want to do the same things over and over again. Some days I just don't want to do anything.

For example Saturday morning I just woke up and felt like "really do I have to do this all over again?" You know, laundry, dishes, wipe noses, feed little people, sweep, make beds, change diapers, fold, you get the point. I wanted to do something different yet at the same time just didn't want to do ANYTHING at all. And I was attempting to do nothing, well besides take the kids to dinosaur park. Which I might add was a big adventure, I didn't know that the boys and girls clubs got to get in free this weekend with their t-shirts on...so it was rather busy. But again that is beside the point.

The kids and I decided to get some junk food, cuz I was kind of in that mood, ice cream and chips and cheese,...ohhhh that sounds good right now....but my foot is elevated and I am not starving probably just bored. So we got the snacks and hit red box and came home to have a lazy evening in bed, with movies and treats.

For some reason Bee decided to sweep. To make a long story even longer, the broom handle hit a large 14x16 picture frame on the wall. I saw it teeter and totter, and told her to put the broom down, all the while I swept my body across the bed, to get the broom down, she turned and whacked the picture, sent it flying, frame fell off, the glass fell out and landed in my foot. Pain shot instantly through it. I just hoped it wasn't cut, but landing in it pretty much cut it open. I walked to the linen closet grabbed some band aids and baby wipes and sat back down on my bed.

After controlling the bleeding, I looked at the gaping would, could see some bony matter, and realized my toes were numb and most likely it needed to be seen by a doctor. I reached for my phone.....where the heck is it??? I had set it down on the bed not too long ago. And crap the home phone doesn't work, both next door neighbors are gone.....Oh yeah my neighbor friend across the street is around because her son is sick. So I send G-Man over there and get on what else, FACEBOOK in hopes someone is on. Though I didn't think to put my cell number or Eric's to have them call him. But by the time I post my status, Christy is over, and she confirms my need for medical attention. And gives my cell a buzz. When my butt started to vibrate I knew right where I left it. I'd lose my head if it wasn't attached, actually I lose my mind all the time....

Anyway so I get a hold of my friend Gina, which I am surprised I was able too since the second her husband answered the phone I lost it and started crying, not because I was in pain, just because I am a goober like that. She came and got me and we took the kids to her house, thanks Chad! Sorry Two pooped her pants!

So off to the urgent care center! The nurse took one look and said "Go to the ER." Ok off to the ER....By this time my shock turned to slap stick humor....I kind of get that way, can't stop talking and laughing. And fortunately Gina could laugh at my holy grail humor "its only a flesh wound I've had worse." "I think I will go for a walk now!" And she wasn't grossed out watching me make my laceration talk. Thanks Gina....and after what seemed like forever...only what four hours?? I was all stitched up and sent home to stay off my foot for 24 hours and keep it elevated for 3 days.....

Why is it when I am told to stay down I just have a really hard time doing so??? I mean Saturday that is all I wanted to do....and today, the crumbs on the kitchen floor are yelling at me to clean them up...I am ignoring them though.

My wonderful parents came yesterday to help out! Thanks and then today some wonderful friends Gina (thanks again) and Lynette are helping out with the little kiddos....and yet I lay here dying to clean up....really whats up with that?

Eric made the comment, after he lay down next to me and I asked him to sweep and change my sheets while I shower (I hadn't showered since last Wednesday, gross I know but no hot water! and I showered in cold water for a year and a half in Brazil and have no desire to do that again) so anyway he said "you know when I am sick I just lay in bed (like he needed to tell me that one) and just get better, and you..." I interrupted "Lay in bed and bark orders of things that need to get done, or get up and start doing them and not rest.?"


"that is why I never get better or take a lot longer. Because I don't know how to rest. "

"Well you should."

"I know but you should do the things I see that need to be done."

Too bad the phone rang and ended that conversation, because see the floor still needs to be swept...and my sheets are still dirty. Probably has something to do with eating yummy chocolate chip cookies in bed yesterday, thanks Christy, and those chips and cheese on Saturday.

But I will relax. I wanted change, I wanted to do nothing and be a bum! I got my wish right? Ok off to be a bum!

September 11, 2009

Our Lives

Eight years ago today, I sat on the living room floor of my in-laws playing with my son G-Man. Watching him sit up all by himself, for several minutes at a time, thrilled me. A young mother couldn't have been happier. Such a huge mile stone. Sitting up allows them to play with some toys and be happy independently for brief moments.

And as quickly as my excitement hit, it turned to sadness and grief.

"Corrine, the phone's for you."

"Hey Mom how are you? Guess what G-Man is sitting up all on his own. "
"That's great." I could tell by the tone of her voice that something was not good. I quickly thought of my grandmother that was flying out that day.

"What's wrong????" I fearfully asked.

"Turn on the news. Someone crashed into one of the Twin Towers in New York."

I have to admit for a brief second I was filled with relief. I said good-bye and turned on the news. Tears filled my eyes and a heaviness I had never felt filled my heart as I saw the one building burning. Then moments later, I sat and watched as the second plane hit. Most of us watched the news. I sat and watched numbly for three days, tears streaming down my face.

My heart ached for those involved, for their families and for our country. The feelings were strong, among many. Flags were in the yards and on cars. Such a tragic event seemed to pull us together as a nation closer than we had been for a long while. American pride seemed to beam from sea to shining sea.

But life as it does continues on. Some how the human body allows the grief, the heart ache to not pierce the soul so much. It never goes away, a silent in the back of the room lingering. But we do go on.

Its only been eight years and my kids today, when they saw the American Flag in our front yard, asked me if it was a holiday. I mentioned to them about 9/11 and Patriotic day and told them they would probably talk about it in school today. Maybe not? Hopefully!

And yet, as much as I remember that day, as all who were around that day. But some how we carry on, some days probably most days for most of us, not even thinking about that day.
Kids go off to school.

Kids draw on the walls.

We discover hidden in our weeds growing Tomatillo plants.

Laundry still has to get done.
Life goes on. We live and we remember and we hope to never forget. Life is fragile. Life is sweet. Life is for living. And even when bad happens, life is good.

September 09, 2009

Dear Mr President

Dear Mr. President,

I am sorry for the grief that many of our nation have given you. I envy not your position, nor anyone ever in that position. Daily I battle with making decisions for just my family of six and can't even imagine making decisions for a whole nation.

I know I am just one, never been big on politics or even paying attention to what is going on. Often I am missing important bits of information on things that are going on, and most often rely on my dad to send me bits of political emails.

But thanks to MSN as my home page, I have been able to read a little here and there about some of the happenings. I must admit my daily thoughts and worries tend to not go past my front door, because there are plenty of things to worry about here. But I have had a head turning moment about this whole health care thing.

I have no idea how one can go and fix something as big as our health care system, one that has dug deep into the publics pockets and into the hands of a few. And at the same time, has been one that has made leaps and bonds in helping many but at a cost.

I am concerned about government involvement just a bit, maybe more scared of the unknown, yet I do know a little. My husband lost his job in December, and with out significant income and no insurance we have been blessed with medicaid to help us for our medical emergencies. As wonderful as it is to have it, it is a pain in the you know what! No one will take us.

My son who has some breathing problems, was turned away from an urgent care, after hearing we had medicaid. I called several doctors to find someone to see this same son about his skin, no one would take us. This is a problem. What type of benefits would doctors get for seeing medicaid patients? Why is it that they don't want to see medicaid patients? In the new reform how will it change their mentality?

I don't know the answers to these questions, and don't know how you will fix it. Maybe just maybe we could try something like:

  • Offer competitive pay backs to doctors accepting government insurance.
  • Offer plans for employers to provide benefits TO ALL their employees regardless of how many hours ( I just applied for a job, and they made the hours 27.5 hours so that they would not have to pay benefits....this kind of thing shouldn't happen.)
  • Offer tax breaks for insurance companies offering affordable plans to everyone.
  • Cash for Healthy Check Ups, get a clean bill of health and a gym membership.
  • Require more recesses and PE at schools, provide more money to our schools to do these programs...(had a principal tell me that kids didn't need those, they can go for a walk once they got home from school....please tell me that kids really need to sit more than six hours at school with out breaks and movement.)
  • Why can't we have health care like car insurance? Get to pick plans out there, and require limit on the max out of pocket for those, set it up as a flex spending account and get refunded the money not spent on health care for the year....

I just hope and pray that you and everyone involved in coming up with a way to get insurance to everyone can come to a common ground that will benefit all involved and not those not effected.

And on another note, I know all these bailout plans are diggin our nation deeper and deeper into debt, why not forgive ourselves our debt and start over...I won't tell anyone.



September 03, 2009

Am I a terrible Mom because....

my last post stirred up some comments that made me wonder...at least about my ability to discipline which to be honest is some days in need of Nanny 911. However I think that a lot of my parenting goes to the part of me who doesn't like to be told what to do...and do not like CONTROLLING people (either telling people what to do, or people that feel the need to tell people what to do)...I guess I have the mixed up idea that for some reason people have brains and that they should be able to make good choices...

now don't get me wrong I BELIEVE that children should be guided, nurtured, disciplined and taught right from wrong, and I do Get after my kids...though for some reason they laugh and think I am playing with them....maybe it is because most of the time I am playing with them, and every once in awhile my mean ugly voice comes out and they know I am serious...

It is tough being a parent, and knowing what to do...and yet at the same time, I know how tough it is being an adult and making big decisions and caring for others, that part of me just really wants my kids to enjoy life and not have to worry about it. There will be plenty of time to worry about it later.....

Anyway yesterday I took Two and T-Rex to the church, I am a nursery leader, in charge of the kids under 4...and we cleaned the nursery and organized the toys. T-Rex and Two were so excited to be there and took the cleaning wipes and were cleaning toys and putting things away. Two even helped put out a toy struggle between T-Rex and some little boy.

One of the gals helping out there said "Man I need to take your kids home, they help clean and they help take care of kids..."

And the thought came to me, "she should of seen them YESTERDAY" but then it also occurred to me, that you know I am doing something right sometimes.

So its is wrong of me to:

let my kids eat cupcakes for breakfast?
walk to the store with me and pick out lunchables for lunch and let them eat them before 10 am?
gather up their toys and sell them on the front lawn?
offer to mow a neighbors lawn?
watch a movie before bed instead of reading stories?
nights when they are scared let them crawl into bed with me?
let them eat the popsicles until they are all gone? knowing that they won't have anymore the rest of the week?
curl up with me and read stories instead of taking a nap?
letting them go outside and play instead of helping me clean? (i mean how much easier is it to clean up with out them around helping??"
let them eat in the car?
let them lick the beaters and dip them back in the batter?

I don't think so! They are good kids, they make me laugh most days and CRAZY the other days! And hopefully we will all remember the laughs more than the tears!

And then this happens!
So maybe someone needs to call Nanny 911 on me! I just went to my computer to answer a few emails, and the kids were down stairs playing....then Two came up wanting water, and I told her just a minute, then she comes running back into me, "OH no MOM come quick, you have to see what T-Rex is doing...Its bad, berry berry bad!"
"Just a second I say.""
"Come quick, hurry, you gonna be berry mad!"
I walk in to find the above mess....and T-REX laughing and laughing! Oh the little stinker....the girls have cleaned it all up...now time for me to fix the rest...Oh my goodness!
THough I am laughing have you ever played in five pounds of flour...its so soft!

September 01, 2009

Why a Mother Can NEVER be SiCK!!

I have not been feeling well the last few days, actually some of the sicker I have felt in a long time. Some moments I think maybe I should head to the doctor but then I realize how the heck will I get there. But then again, I just can't afford to be sick anymore.

However, I have stayed in bed most of the day other than to put out fires, fortunately no real fires but I wouldn't put it past Two and T-Rex to set the house on fire. Those little turkeys!! They are quite the duo.

Yesterday as I lay in bed, but for a brief moment because I was switching out loads of laundry, when I heard a loud noise down stairs. I didn't even dare go look. A few minutes later Two came up with the biggest smile on her face. I am talking BIG!

I asked her "what happened down stairs?"

"Me and T made a big mess. We knocked the books off the shelf, dumped all the toy buckets, empty out G-Man's legos, and tipped over the doll house. Its a big mess. Want to see?" In the proudest of voices she told me this....really should one be proud of this?? I don't think so.

Well I took her invitation and followed her down those stairs as she gave me a tour of her mess. The toys covered the floor like a winter quilt on a bed, you wouldn't know there was carpet down there! Could two small children possibly make such a mess? Are you sure it wasn't a tornado??

After getting after it, I told her she needed to clean up, I know a job insurmountable for a mom let alone a four year old, but I told her. She looked up at me and said "No Greg will do it when he comes home." I was too tired to argue with her, and too tired to help. So yes the basement is flooded in toddler mess.

To add to the mess downstairs G-Man decided to add the wretched smells of puke, of which landed smack on the floor, the only open floor space in his room. Thank you much. T-Rex brought some up with him all over his foot and PJ's this morning. Can I just tell you cleaning up that stuff is hard but even harder when you are already so sick to your stomach.

As G and I laid in bed today watching his shows, Two and T-Rex were left to fend their own. Well lets just say Two sure can keep him busy.

They decided they needed to take a shower. Not a bad thing, but Two ran in and slammed the door shut and locked it. In a modern house this is ok, but in our 1922 house, we have a dead bolt on the inside of the bathroom door with no way to unlock from the outside. After trying to talk her through opening the door, I went and sat on the bed for a minute, yes I posted a facebook status, and thought about going to the outside window. Thoughts of calling 911 entered my mind, as the kids had turned the tub on, and we know how dangerous that can be. So I went outside and put a ladder to the window. Emily stood on the edge of the tub smiling at me, "Hi Mom."

After trying to tell her again how to unlock the door, I had G bring me a screwdriver and plied open the window that had been painted shut. I got it about an inch or two open and just couldn't open it anymore. Just then I hear "Corrine, Corrine, You ok??"

Gina to the rescue. My friend stopped by with some juice, crackers, popsicles and can soup. She climbed the ladder and pried the window open, we shoved G through and he opened the door. Thanks so much Gina!

Oh you think the excitement would end there! How is a sick mother ever to get any rest??

After eating almost a whole box of popsicles, T-Rex went to the kitchen to get another, why has he learned to open the freezer and fridge???...I followed him but was stopped by slipping on the floor on a half eaten, half melted popsicle on the floor. UGHHH!!

Then I decide its time to just lock them all in my room, because T-Rex can't open these doors. So I do, and he brings crackers in with him. And before I can stop him, they become confetti all over my bed!! Thrown up in the air and then jumped on!!

So after cleaning that up we actually all fall asleep and nap. Yeah Rest!

Not for long, G wakes me up to remind me we have to pick up Bee from school. Oh yeah! I had no idea who to call so I pry myself out of bed and go get her.

Once we get home Bee entertains the younger two and I rest a little bit, but the door knocks, not a bad thing, a friend of Bee comes over to have her come play. Mixed emotions because she was entertaining the two while making some more messes but keeping them busy, I could always use her help, but know she needs to get out, especially after she came home and sprayed the whole house down because "it smells like throw up!" Which I am sure it did, does.

She left, and then the monsters hit the bathroom again. They filled the tub, dumped the handsoap in, two towels, a full roll of toilet paper and a roll of paper towels...ARGHHH you have got to be kidding me. So I grab the strainer and sit for about 30 minutes straining the toilet paper out of the tub. All the while I have told her she needs to go to her room.

Dad ends up coming home early to help out. Two walks up to him "I am suppose to be on my bed, but me didn't do anything wrong!" What a stinker. Now her dad is sitting in her room with her and here I type.

Now to get the Dad to help and clean up the mess, you know the dishes in the sink, the crumbs all over the floor, sheets to be folded....oh the messes that happen when mom is out.

Night! I need to rest!

So am I the only mother that can't rest, and if she does all falls apart??? Should I be keeping a better eye on them??? oh my!!

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