September 17, 2009

I'm a loser

OK maybe I am not a total loser, but have you ever had those moments, where someone asks you a question, you answer and all of a sudden in your mind you see the thumb and the pointer finger shaped like an L and placed on their forehead? And in that very moment you know you are a loser.

I feel like a LOSER!

Today I took the kids in to the doctor, and yes I admit we are on medicaid. And recently I was reading a posting, reading threw a thread where someone mentioned how they aren't a loser they are raising their kids on their own and not needing government assistance and on and on. For some reason it hit me hard. "Am I a total loser, for having my children and now being in a situation where we need assistance to raise them?" Then at the office the receptionist was asking me questions about employer...um yeah have none....and such questions and I just could feel the L on my forehead getting bigger.

Yes I have four kids, no I don't have a job.
I have been looking.
I didn't get one I interviewed for this week.
No I don't have any income.
Yes I will be responsible if insurance doesn't pay.
Yes I feel stupid right now.

Then this week, with my foot accident and coming down with the worst of my stomach pain and ills, my friends stood up to the plate and totally took care of me. To be honest, it was such a blessing and so needed. I was literally knee deep in poop! And was feeling so bad, I was at my last wit ends. And then my friends came to rescue me, cleaning up the messes, helping get kids to bed, bringing me some meals, folding laundry, fixing my water heater, and just taking care of me!

But I felt, feel like a loser for needing help. But I so appreciate it!!! I guess we all need help at some time. IT at some times we all need to help others. That's what makes the world go around right? Thanks again friends for truly being a blessing in my life.


Yvonne said...

No, you are not a loser. Stop feeling that way.

I'm sure your friends are more than happy to help. We all need help once in awhile. I know you have been there to help your friends.

Shannon said...

Thank goodness for good friends. I know what it feels like to be on medicaid, not fun. This too shall pass!

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