August 25, 2008

Monday Mumblings: Spam, and not the kind they eat in Hawaii.

According to all my spam (about 200 emails a day) I am:

Looking to become a CSI person- at some point in my life before Gregory was born, and before CSI came out I wanted to be a crime scene photographer, but was talked out of doing the job by the Police Chief who asked me if I had ever smelt a 2 week old rotting dead body? The idea of the smell turned me off. Too bad TV can not do interactive smell :)

Looking for a fling: Yeah not looking for a fling!

Over 55 and need AARP: not sure where I filled something out asking for retirement things or whatever but yeah I am getting hit up with that, I know I have several gray hairs but I am a ways away from needing AARP

Looking to refinance my house on Thome Valley Drive: Hello people I sold it about 4 months ago.

Need to lose weight: OK you got me there! But really who in American isn't looking to try the Green Tea that Oprah swears by??

Wanting to go to school to get a degree: Some how my college degree didn't get registered on the spamming lists. Though I have thought about going to school to become a nurse.

The last known possible Relative: Some how I am related to a bunch of millionaires in Africa who have attorneys in London that I need to claim money from immediately.

Looking to consolidate my debts: well we actually don't need to consolidate them I just need to claim my long lost relative's money and pay them all off.

The next winner of a Dell Laptop: all I have to do is sign my life away and I will become a winner of a new laptop. Maybe that is where I am getting all this spam by filling out all those forms to win those laptops I never win :) (no I haven't filled out the forms nor tried to win one.)

So what are you according to your Spam?


Yvonne said...

We must be related, because I am also related to those millionaires in Africa who just need my bank account number.

Most of the Spam I just delete.

Jessica Simonsen Howard said...

That sounds like all of my junk mail. Wow, there must be a lot of us out there. HaHa!!

Sheri said...

So funny! This is why you are sucha good writer! You take the basic everyday blah and make it funny!
I am poor and in need of credit repair - true! How do they know?
I am also one step away from a Dell Laptop!! i also get a lot of the diet thing... again... true!!

Berly said...

I get a ton of diet things and I have one a trip to somewhere. It drives me nuts!!! Good for you to be so optmisitc about the SPAM!

Tonia said...

They want me to get a degree too! I actually fill stuff so people spam me and then I get lots of stuff in my junk mail for wal-mart and cooking stores etc. which means I usually don't get the Viagra ones!

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