Odds and Ends!

Odds and Ends of my recent life! 

G-Man turned 9!  Its hard to believe that not too long ago I was sitting in a hospital bed, holding a screaming bundle of boy, unsure of what lay ahead of me, yet thinking I knew all that was to come.  Life is funny though it likes to throw things at you unexpectantly!  But I wouldn't change much, not most of it anyway. 

G-Man is our little talker, caregiver, gaurdian, (his real name means man of the watchtower--or something like that..) and he is really always watching out for others especially his siblings...and sometimes others at school, monitoring what they are doing and not always what he is doing...but he is none the less always concerned about others.

Well the other day, Bee took a head dive off of her scooter, and her forhead hit the uncovered handlebar, leaving a hole requiring seven stitches...OUCH!  Major ouch when the doctor mentioned he should of done more....Anyway we were on our way to get the stitches out and G-Man, doing what he does best, tried to comfort Bee, he said "Bee dont' worry about getting your stitches.  It doesn't hurt.  It feels like picking a booger, that is kind of stuck and as you pull it is a little stringy." 

After being a little grossed out, I realized he was so right and new exactly what he was talking about...yes admitting I've picked my nose.

But I am grateful for him and all his wisdom, and the joy he truly has brought to our home!!! Happy Birthday buddy!

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Work!  I probably post a lot about work, well the fact that I am working now in houskeeping and the fact that it has been more than humbling for me.  In all actuality I like it, most days!  Okay maybe I don't like the work, the clean up people's toilets, crumb spills, but I enjoy the people. 

I was in the nursery, grabbing their trash, and had to stop and gock (sp???? totally not the right spelling..or is it??) at a new baby and talk to one of my CNA friends.  I mentioned something about the baby, and his name and how his older sister (all of 5 years as of January) who had talked to me the whole time I was cleaning, then when she saw me in the hall all surprised and excited and said "You were just in there?!"  

And I was, I feel like I pop in and out of rooms all day, I guess that is what I do :)...But anyway the CNA said "you sure remember a lot!"  To which I replied "I could tell you something about every single one of the patients on this side."

"You talk to the patients while you clean?"

"I do!"  

I even had a patient tell me I should write a book, today.  But the thought came to me, I really do like talking to people, and should be working somewhere where I can talk to people....but then it occured to me, that I get to meet new people almost every day!  And I do get to talk to them....for a few minutes, if they are awake.  Some are more talkative than others, but really what kind of job could I do talking to others?? 

Councilor...no don't want to get advice...
Social worker....no don't want to deal with problems....
Biographer....yeah that would be cool, talk to people about their stories and write it down for them....Any takers????


Anyway after that thought provoking conversation in the nursery it just made me realize how much I do like my job and the gals (I say gals because about 90% of them are) I work with. 

I have made some great friends and really have laughed a lot. 

Like today.   A normal patient room cleaning, typically starts with me knocking on the door, coming in, pulling trash, asking how they are doing, cleaning the bathroom, sweeping the floor, mopping the floor then asking if there is anything else I can do for them.  Well I follow my normal protocol and enter a patients room. Pull the trash, wipe the front sink, ask how they are doing, enter the bathroom, and notice some toilet paper in the toilet, so I flush it so I can clean it.   Well it doesn't go down....thinking to myself, don't want to keep flushing to maybe embarrass them, I pull the trash, I don't know hoping the TP will go down itself or something...but it doesn't.  So I flush again, the tp looks like it is going to make an exit, but then pops itself back up.  Blasted TP.  So I hold the flusher down longer, tp gone, yeah.....no....pops back up.   I look out the bathroom door at the patient on the phone and mouth "sorry.."  as I begin to giggle.

Those who know me, know that once I start giggling, I kind of can't stop.  So then I try again, and sure enough it pops its head back out. I apologize to the family, and mention how stubborn it is being, all the while trying to keep my laughter to a professional level.  The dad says "no I should be the one excusing myself." 

After that and what the sixth? flush, down it went.  Man it took me a long time to get that bathroom clean! 

But that isn't the only time I have laughed....at this time it was at someone else's expense...and to this day, all I have to say is "It was me!!!" cheerfully and proudly and I start to laugh.

Curoius now!? 

Sometimes bathrooms get what is called "dry pipes", yes the system dries out and the solution to this is pouring water down the pipes, the symptom of this is the smell of  rotten eggs mixed with other potty smells.  Anyway on the 4th floor as you walk through the double locked doors, there are public bathrooms to the right. 

After lunch my coworker and I walked through these doors, to bit hit by the dry pipe smell! One of the nurses happened to be there, and we started talking about how bad it smelled.  We were going on about horrible it was, when my friend says "I can only smell the Scentsy candles."  (the other direction from the bathrooms is a little store and the gal there always has sweet smelling Scentsys going, however this day it wasn't fixing the scents in the hallway..." 

So as we went on about the smell, and how we couldn't smell the candle....when out of the store door pops the gal, and she waves her hand in the air, smiles big and says "it is me! It is me!" 

Are you really claiming this smell causing us to be sick to our stomaches??  We looked at her surprisingly and asked "Are you sure you want to claim this stink??" 

She quickly turned red and said "I thought you meant my candle!" 

We laughed!  And when she walks by we do our best Parade Princess wave and say "it was me!"

Who says it can't be fun to work...me a few weeks ago.  But I do enjoy it, wish it weren't that we were depending on my hourly pay.  Because it isn't much pay, and sometimes hard to be humble enough to do this job but at least I get to laugh! 

One more story while I am writing.  As housekeepers we are responsible to clean rooms, almost immediately after a patient leaves, and the only way we know they are gone, other than looking in the rooms and watching them leave, is receiving a page, with the room number telling us to go to that room.  Each morning, we log into our pager so we can receive those pages, we log out for breaks, and log in and out of rooms, and so on.  We also have 30 minutes from the time we log into a room to clean it and log back out. 

The other day I had a meeting to attend, which I was suppose to logout of my pager, 15 minutes before so I could unload my cart and head to the meeting.  Well I received a page five minutes before I was suppose to log out, not enough time to clean a room.  So I call my supervisor, to whom I will refer to as "Micro", has nothing to do with the way he supervises (said sarcastically.)

I grab my Vocera (our walkie talkies basically) and tell it to call Micro.

"This is Micro."

"Yes, this is Corrine.  I just got a page to clean room 4444 and I have a meeting at 3 that I am suppose to log out for." 

As if the world depended on my logging out, he said "log out, LOG OUT!  Log OUTTTTT!"

"Ok!"

I was in the chute room, throwing trash down, with one of my coworker friend, and she heard it all, because the vocera is around our necks and basically on speaker.  She starts laughing, as I frantically fumble through my scrubs to find my phone to log out.  Not sure what the panic was but I felt a sudden urgency to LOG OUT!!!!

Thanks for the laughs housekeeping! 

Its Potty Time My Little Peeping Toms

Walking down the aisle, reaching for the last few items, I tried to talk my body into "waiting" until we get home. "I can hold it...I live five minutes away. I only have a few more items to get....I can wait" I kept telling myself as I pushed my shopping cart with Two running, rather being dragged by me through the store.

"No I can not wait." I said to no one in particular. "Lets go Two!" I make her run.

I shoved the cart by the door, grabbed T- Rex from the seat and headed for the handicap stall. Holding T-Rex in one hand and trying to unbutton my pants, and getting Two to come in the stall with me was a little challenging.

I sat down still holding T-Rex. I was just glad to have made it to the bathroom. Then Two plops on the floor and peers under the stall.

"Mommy there's a lady in there."

"I know. Get up off the floor. Stop looking under the stall"

I reached over to pull her back, trying to keep my bare bum on the seat and balanced with T-Rex still in hand. She stands up. Then loud and proud said, "Mom why are you pooping.Its stinky. Why does pooh stink so much?"

And before I can answer she pops back down, with T-rex with her.

"Mom she is pulling up her pants."

"Two get up!...T-Rex...stop...get...over here" I ordered as he slipped further under the stall...

"I am sorry."....to which I got no response. I sat and was hoping she was done, considering the update Two gave me.

"Flush" ..... Flush, Flush.... Two found the little black button on the back of the toilet. Now that my back side is sufficiently wet, I hold both of my kids by their waist bands.

Two and T-Rex are under my control for a few seconds...plop! Back on the ground they went.

"She is still sitting!"



"Two!!! I am so sorry!!!!"

I hurriedly finish up thinking "I will beat her out of the stalls to the sink!"

Hoping to not have to face our poor bathroom victim, off we go to wash our hands. We were almost in the clear, drying our hands when out she came. I quickly dry their hands and apologize again, when the bathroom door opens, and in walks a mullet haired, baggy red U of U shirt, over stuffed jeaned woman.

"Mom, Mom....why is there a man in here?"

Oh my goodness can I just ignore that comment??

"No Sweetie that's a woman."

I grabbed my kids and headed out of the bathroom as I left the words..."I am sorry."

17th day gift of laughter

Ok so gift of laughter, or rather the enjoyment or finding humor in sometimes not humorous moments, is something I have been given.

Monday Bee went with her dad for the day while the other three and I did our last minute errands and goodbyes.

Bee had a wonderful time with her dad. When we picked them up, she was covered in Red Hot Cheetos' hand prints. She passed the remaining few of the big grab bag, to her little brother, and off we went back to the hotel.

Bee complained of a tummy ache, and Eric informed me that all she ate all day was that big bag of FLAMING HOT CHEETOS...I don't know how she ate those because I think they are too hot, but she did...so anyway she decided to go to the bathroom because her stomach hurt so much. And then I hear....

"OWIE OWIE MOmmmmy.....owie owie, it hurts..."

I think to myself...wonder if she is constipated...should I go check on her?

"Owie Mommy...mommmy my pooop is red....owieeeee!"

I think yep most likely constipated...poor girl, better go check.

"Mom you got to come quick, the toilet is red" informs G-man.

Eric chimes in "She is too young isn't she?"

"Yes...she is probably constipated."

Then I go in and check....oh no its not constipation, but the attack of red dye number five and flaming hot Tabasco....I started laughing, when I remembered she had eaten the WHOLE bag on an empty stomach, not sure if the empty stomach played a part, but I think it helped.

Her little BMs were FLAMING HOT RED! And the poor girl was getting burned as it came out. And me her mom, just laughed through it all, as I tried to comfort her.

"Mommy it burns..."

"I'm...(ha, ha, ha) so sorry...hahahah"

The Second day of Christmas...(a little overshare)

My true love gave to me,
Two years, two months period Free!

Normally I wouldn't post for the whole world to know but I went TWO years plus a few months no cycle! So imagine my surprise yesterday when using the facilities just before picking the kids up from school...SHOCKER! But maybe it explains the quick tears I had last week.

Lets just say I was totally unprepared, I put the younger kids in the car, drove and picked the older ones up from school and headed to Safeway.

Where into my cart I threw, tampons, some snacks for the kids and ICE Cream!

As I was checking out, T-Rex climbing all over me, Two crying, the male cashier scanned my items glancing up at me after each. I can only imagine his thought process "oh man poor husband! Kids, chocolate, pads never a good combination!" He asked "how are you doing?" I wanted to say..."as if you can't tell already" But I answered with a courteous "Alright, thank you."

Armed with chocolate and feminine protection and kids' choice treats and sixty dollars later, we headed home, set emotionally and physically for a few days.

I think the last two years have saved me some money and a few pounds...

There was an old lady

There was an old (well not really old) who lived in a shoe (more like a shoe box of a condo),
she had so many kids, she didn't know what to do.

She fed them some food, oh my how much they'd pooh!
Filling the house with laughter and stinky smells of doo doo.

Potty training with the others seemed to go so much faster,
with little Two, oh she, is so not the master.

While sitting in the sink, combing her short golden hair
she crapped in her last,oh her very last, clean pair.

So into the shower, the little clothed gal flew
with water hose in hand, to rinse the pooh.

Not done yet, not done yet, she complained
so left all alone this little un potty trained.

For some unknown reason she opened the shower glass door,
water, water everywhere went, she flooded the floor.

Oh this poor little old lady who lived in a shoe,
so much laundry she really does have to do.

Mother of the Year Award goes to...

ME! I get the mother of the year award. You may ask yourself, how does this dysfunctional mother of four, who has a muddy t-shirt, ripped shorts and uncombed hair get the award. I will tell you. It isn't easy, and I wouldn't get it, if it weren't for my four young kids.

I am not receiving this award because of the fun activities I do with my kids, or for the many books I read to them. Or even the fact that I attempt to feed them healthy, well yeah most of the time. I bathe them, and take them to different activities. I have enriched their lives with friends and love. None of these things can compare to what earns me the award tonight.

Lets back track to Friday night. Kids went trick or treating and got way too many treats. With just two I feel I had a lot more control over the candy. Well with four, and all running in different directions, sometimes I can't catch them all nor keep track of where the candy is going, I know not a trait of an award winning mom.

So when T-Rex would come to me with a wrapped, chewed piece of candy I wasn't surprised. I just took it out of his mouth and threw it away. I have been wary about the fact that he is putting plastic wrappers in his mouth. A huge choking hazard, I know and should be more careful, well I thought I was.

Well tonight we had some friends over for a brief moment. There was chaos to say the least, and candy being taken out from the high "hiding" places. I was showing my friend something on line and her husband was in with the kids, when I was informed that T-Rex had swallowed, or rather chewed and swallowed a whole Hershey Kiss, wrapper and all. He, my friend's husband, commented that he should be fine but don't be surprised to find a wrapper in his diaper. What a foreshadowing moment.

So they leave, we have dinner and I put Two and T-Rex in the shower. I grabbed their jammies, when Two started yelling "T pooped in shower." Followed by G-Man laughing "there are a ton of wrappers in there. T pooped wrappers."

I thought you got to be kidding me. I come back to the shower and low and behold there was a shower with several plastic wrappers and BM. I just laughed. And realized if this doesn't win me an award I don't know what else will.

And for your viewing pleasure, the evidence. After I rinsed a little bit, not fun to clean up. Man T-Rex two in one day!

Cock-a-doo-da-poo!

Why is it that the morning when you just fell asleep, having some crazy dream, because you are finally asleep, the rooster crows! Yeah right not around here, we like to wake up actually before the sun does so we don't even hear the roosters over our morning noise, usually consisting of some fighting over the sounds of TV.

But this morning, I was awoken by the bright lights of my over head light, and the sweet sounds of my Two saying "It's morning time. Mom wake up." I bolted up thinking, "It is probably seven thirty and I have to get the kids off to school, yeah I got 3 1/2 hours of sleep!!" As I rubbed the sleep from my eyes I looked at the clock "4:45". No it isn't time to wake up. "Two get in bed with Mommy. It isn't time to wake up."

"Daddy not here. Time to wake up." Followed by tears and gnashing of teeth.

"Just lie down next to mommy." As she cries she climbs in bed with me, curls up next to me with her outfit picked out for the day on. We fall asleep.

In the dark of the morning still, I hear cries from T-Rex. As I rub my eyes and look at the clock I figure a little before six is an ok time for him to wake up. I go dragging my feet, in to his dark cave of a room, open the door and am hit by the smell "Oh Crap, why did he have to poop so early in the morning?" I ask myself, because instead of having him curl in bed with me I am going to have to change him.

I reach in blindness to pull him out of the crib. He grabs my arms and I hoist him up, and then I feel that little bare bum on my arms. Crap! I flick on the light, and blink, blink, blink to see. Yep the dirty diaper lay next to a pile of more pooh on his sheets. And the only thing I can think is "You fed the baby chili? You never feed a baby chili."

Triumphs in the little things

After taking the kids swimming, I went into my bathroom to change out of my wet suit and into some dry clothes. I quickly sat on the potty, trying to avoid wetting on the floor. I had a small audience, T-Rex and Two. While defending the roll of toilet paper from being torn into tiny shreds by T-rex, Two started applauding me. "Yeah mommy go peepee on the potty. Good job mommy."

As I sat there, trying to hurry and worrying about T-rex destroying a roll of paper, concerned a little about having an audience, thinking a little about what I was going to fix for dinner, fretting about the small stuff in life and worrying about all I didn't accomplish today, I was reminded to stop and smell the roses, so to speak. I mean really it is a triumph to be able to sit on a toilet and go.

Sometimes I go through out the day feeling like nothing has been accomplished, but today I have seen through the eyes of a three year old that I do accomplish much. I may not get all the laundry folded, or all the beds made, but......

"Yeah Mommy go potty."

TeeHeeHee Tuesday: Potty Humor

Not sure what it is about bodily functions that get young kids all in a giggle, but tonight was no exception for my little ones. Two came down the stairs and said "G-man call me name, me fardy."

"Oh Two, tell G-man that isn't nice."

"G-man not nice, mom me said, me not fardy."

For some reason the tables kind of turned and little Two thought that it was funny as well as B and G-man. So then they sat around telling fart jokes. So I enlightened them with my favorite all time joke.

"why do the Irish put only 239 beans in their soup?"

"why?"

"because if they add more it would be "two Farty" (240) (said with an Irish accent).

The kids kind of laughed. Then after explaining the joke they laughed even more. You know if there was just one more bean it would make you farty. G-man asked and guessed "oh so it makes you too farty? "

Yes....anyway I laughed good cuz its just funny, and the thing that is even more funny is hearing my dad laugh as he tells this joke. Anyway there's your joke for the night.