August 09, 2009


As I was in the bathroom doing my morning business of showering, my kids were off doing who knows what. Rinsing my hair, I startled to a little hand opening up the curtain. Standing behind the beige plastic was T-Rex all covered from head to toe in water colors. It appeared he ate more than he painted.

He held up a paper with small markings and drawings at the very bottom, pointed to his work and said "Temple."

"Did you paint a temple?"

"yeshhh!" Pointing at his picture again he said "Temple."

"It is beautiful T, I love it." I do love it and am amazed that one of his favorite and new words is temple.

For those of you unfamiliar with my faith, we attend church meeting houses on Sunday, for our regular meetings and Sunday School and such. All are welcome to come and participate. Our temples are the more stunning and beautiful buildings you will see around. These buildings are sacred, and many wonderful ordinances are performed one of which is sealings, marriages that are sealed here on earth and extend through the eternities. Our marriage doesn't end at death. I am grateful for my eternal family and they truly are a blessing in my life.

I truly have been blessed not only with great parents and siblings but wonderful children. They make me laugh.

I normally don't use my children's names but my youngest daughter gets called all the time by her big sisters name. Always. I know this because when I call her by the wrong name she quickly looks at me and says "you mean Emily?"

"Yes I mean Emily" At least she knows her name.

Today at church I sat and pondered my life. And how lately I have been under a great deal of stress and depression. I get sad. I am happy. I laugh. I cry. I laugh some more. Those who know me in person, you could probably say my laugh is like a period at the end of all my statements. I'd like to consider myself a happy person.

I don't know why I am going through this depression, it has been hard. I truly know that all that is going on is for a reason, and sometime, hopefully soon, it will end like all life's trials, that are replaced by another one, hopefully one that I can handle better, and soon.

I use the word hope because I do have hope and Faith in my Heavenly Father, that this time in my life will be one I will look back on, and know I learned and grew a lot.

Days may be long but years are short. Life goes to0 fast. And I don't want to look back on this stage in my life as one where I spent too much time worrying. Kind of like how I spent my teen and young adult years worrying to0 much that I was fat, when in all reality I was not! What wasted years, because now its just killing me to get back to my "fat" days of youth. But I don't focus on it anymore, (well not as much) because it is a waste of time and energy.

Looking back on that, it sure has taught me to be happy with the moment. Enjoy life. It really is short. We are here to experience and learn and grow and to have joy.

I take the bitter to enjoy the sweet. I will take the tears to really enjoy the laughter.

My oldest daughter and I recently were sitting on the kitchen floor, I think it was ten o'clock at night, and we took out a gallon of Blue Bell Ice Cream and two spoons and sat and talked. We laughed. We ate. She looked up at me and said "Mom, when I am a mom like you, I am going to tell my daughter, how we sat on the floor at night and just talked and ate ice cream. She will think that is really great." I do hope she remembers that...and I think I need to do that more often.

And it is moments like that, that we live for. The quiet moments when we can sit with our loved ones, and not really worry about anything else and just enjoy life. Because what it all boils down to, is our relationships and those around us. I don't think they will remember how clean the house was growing up, though they remember more me yelling and getting frustrated when it wasn't clean. They aren't going to remember the outfits they wore (well other than looking in pictures) but will remember the trips to the lake, the zoo, or visiting family.

In the end, its people that matter the most. It is the relationships that we develop that help us become better people.

So in the mist of my struggles, who am I going to help? Because it boils down to that, who around us can we help?


Yvonne said...


You are so right-it's the relationships that matter. I love the story of you and your daughter eating ice cream and talking--what a great memory.

Hugs to you, corrine.

SweetmamaK said...

Wonderful post- You have it nailed about what will be remembered. I'm sorry you have to battle depression, it is a disease that makes no sense. I Hope that in time it will be lifted for a while! I was in the San Antonio Temple last week and thought of you and so I put you and your family's name on the prayer list.

Cindy said...

It's very true and I love how you put it! I just love reading your blog.

I also love the quote you have at the top from Pres. Hinckley. I had it on my fridge for years!

Shannon and Brad said...

Amen to that. And I am so sorry you are struggling right now. I do love reading your blog!

Patricia Hodge said...

Great post. I hope you can get past this depression soon. Your kids are going to have some great memories and it is wonderful that you are not letting your feelings of depression keep you from building memories with them.

Julie said...

I know it has been hard to write sometimes but I have to say you always remind me of what is important! Faith, Family, and Friends! Thankfully you are in that category! Love ya!

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