Cleaning out Files

My body has left me home from work, sick in bed with a laptop and digital pictures to hang out with.   It hasn't been too bad of  a day minus, the many trips to the restroom.  My parents took the girls and the boys and I have just been hanging out.  It has been nice. 

Eric took G-Man to get a much needed haircut this morning. This is a picture of him earlier this month. His bangs were in his eyes this morning. 

 I must say though, I am a MEAN MEAN HORRIBLE NO GOOD VERY BAD MOM.......not because I let him go several months with out a cut, or a brush most days, but because I laughed so hard when he came in.  Not sure what they stylist was thinking but he gave him more of a bowl cut.  With my advanced degree in haircutting, OK I watched the video when I got my clippers, I trimmed him up a little more, making his bush look more like a boy hair cut rather than a Dorothy Hammel Cut...He is much happier and now has stopped crying and said he will go to school now. 

This is taken after I fixed it!

I am not normally so mean with laughing at my children, but it really was bad and he had every reason to cry and I should of been more loving, but glad he let me kind of fix it up.  I tried to take the roundness out of his bangs. And the fullness off his back.  He is a darling little boy. And so glad he let me cut his hair, but a friend just stopped by and said....LAUGHING...."you got your hair cut!"  hope he doesn't change his minde about going to school and being teased.  Though I assured him that it was more shoking to see his handsome face than anything.  He then said "well after we played he didn't say anything more about my hair, I guess people will just get used to it, like he did."   Yes they will and you do look handsome!

T-Rex, I must say is a much happier boy with out his sisters around, well besides the fact that he is crying right now, but he has just been playing and doing his own thing.  Granted he did take the girls dolls, and bring them to me in bed to babysit, while he drove his train to "mcdonalds" to get me some fries and a coke.  He has also enjoyed pushing around a stroller with out someone taking it from him.  

Thanks Mom and Dad for taking the girls. 

And while my insides have been flushing themselves clean, I have been downloading and organizing all my pictures....

Its hard to believe this was a year ago....my birthday!

And here I am this month.....

And look at little T-Rex....last year

And here he is today:....

Time sure is flying!   Here I am with G-Man last year at this time too...

Oh I do love you!

So...have you noticed I like to start my blogs off with so...anyway. I discovered last night that I really am not a great single mom. I have had Eric traveling in the past, at one point in our marriage he worked in Indiana for six months and before that a year in San Antonio....so I am used to him being gone...well should say was used to him being gone. It has been a little while since he has traveled, and top it with trying so hard to make my house perfect and well top that with not enough sleep, swollen shins, sore neck and you get one heck of a cranky lady.

Last night we finished dinner, and I realized we didn't do Gregory's homework. While he was reading, Timmy was screaming, Emily was crying and Bethany was wanting me to do something for her. I was being pulled in four different directions and was hoping Gregory would finish pretty quick. However he is in the stage of 1st grade where they read picture novel books, that even I don't like to read to my kids before they go to bed because they are too long. So after 30 minutes of sounding out words and crying children, I had enough. So off to the tubs. I figure I can clean up later.

And tubs for some reason can never be as quick and easy as I think they might be. Soap in the eyes, baby falling down almost drowning, more water on the floor than in the tub...you know fun tub time. Of course I have to diaper two but for some reason the older two want me to dress them as well. I don't have enough hands or patience to do so. But give in after the several minutes of whining. Kids are finally all in their pjs, and mind you the dishes are still all over the table and counters need to be washed...and the load of laundry I started to fold is still on the couch, and my room is still disheveled after me painting the night before.

The kids get a second wind and are jumping around and all over the place. I try to nurse T-man to get him settled while the wild beasts are parading through the game room. T-man falls asleep, sort of but goes into his crib screaming. Emily informs me that he is crying. I assure her I know and that he will be ok.

At this point, I am tired, cranky and DONE! So again not using my nicest motherly voice, send them to bed with no stories! No stories is pure punishment. I put them in their beds threatening them if they come out I will turn the lights out. Then I walk out the door slamming it shut. As I stepped in the hall I realize that is just not the way to send the kids to bed. So I take a deep breath, walk into the room, and sweetly say "I love you" to each of the children, (they all are in the same room because well not sure why because we do have more rooms for them...) and I give them a kiss. As I come upon Gregory I say to him "I love you, very much." And he responded "Well you sure aren't acting like it!" Isn't that the truth. I am sorry buddy even mommies have terrible horrible no good very bad days.

A Day in the Life of Me!

Last night after our fun dinner experience, Eric took Gregory and Emily to Gregory's basketball practice, only 15 minutes late! Bethany, Timmy and I headed to Toys R Us to spend some of her birthday money. Bethany didn't have a ton of money to spend, so we talked about how she could pick out anything she wanted but we had to make sure it wasn't more than her money she had. She said "thats fine we just have to go to the girl aisle and find something with those numbers." When we walked through the door she took a b-line to the girl's section. I think her hands fell upon everything there, until she finally picked a Polly Pocket art supply kit, went on and off the shelf several times before she decided on it.

Well I wanted to look at the clothes that were on sale. So while we were looking through, she said she wanted to get clothes instead, and that she had to try them on in the dressing room. She pulled some items off the shelf, many things getting no's from not only me but her. She found a really cute swim suit. She tried that on and looked in the mirror and said "mom don't I just look so cute in this." I agreed. Then as we were walking to the register she saw a gymnastic leotard outfit with princesses on it. So she put the swim suit back and took the leotard with assurance that her dad will get her gymnastic lessons. We are working on that one.

We got home after 8. And laying before me were the piles of fabric that I had started to cut to make really cute party bags/purses for Bethany's party tonight. I had 15 to make, and had made one, a test one that we gave for Bethany for her scriptures. The night was looking like it was going to be a long one.

There was/ is a huge pile of laundry in our room, one that has overtaken our lives, forming its own life, ready to swallow the next poor person to enter the room. I am seriously afraid my kids might get lost in there. So as I am trying to sew these purses with out cursing too much, one for the thread always coming out and two for me taking on such a project when the last two weeks, I haven't had time to really sit down and do them, anyway I hand Eric a bucket of laundry and ask him to fold it. I figured if he folded it today I could get to it. I finished one purse and he said he was done folding the bucket of clothes. He went as far as to tell Gregory to becareful not to knock the bucket down because the clothes were nice and folded.

I sat and tried sewing while the kids were running around well past their bed times driving me crazy. Eric wakes up from his little slumber on the bed, pretending to fold clothes must have worn him out, and takes the kids to their rooms to read them stories and put them to bed. They all were asleep pretty quick, I mean all, including Eric. I woke Eric up to help me cut some more fabric for the purses. He did, and then went to sleep.

Its approaching 10 by now and I am not making much headway on the purses so I decided to shut down shop and finish the other half in the morning. Because I can't go to bed with out checking my email I came out to the computer, and crying begins. Bethany for some reason couldn't sleep and was crying. I made her go get in our bed, so I could get her asleep and put her in her bed in awhile.

As soon as I move her to the floor, fall asleep little Timmy wakes up screaming. So I feed him and put him to bed. No sooner than I am asleep dreaming about driving too fast and rear ending people, Emily comes screaming into our room. After about an hour of her crying and kicking me, I put her in her crib. Then back to sleep for me. Then Timmy wakes up at 4:45 am and I feed him, and am unable to go back to sleep because of all that I have before me for the new day. I begin to sew purses...and 10:30 I finish all 16. Does anybody need a purse??

Well I decide to tackle the mountain of laundry by putting away the bucket of clothes Eric had so nicely folded last night. But what do I find, only the top few items are folded! Busted!! The twirp! I couldn't believe he did that to me.

The kids and I cleaned up to the best of our abilities and then headed to the store. Why would one be crazy enough to head out in the rain, 38 degree weather, with four young kids? I don't know! Plus none of my kids were dressed appropriately for this type of weather or going out. Bethany was sporting some old navy long john pjs with her leotard on top. Emily had a dress on and her jacket, poor legs were freezing. Timmy was bundled fairly well. Gregory was wearing a t-shirt and shorts.

When I got to the store, the kids actually stood by my side behaving fairly well, helping me get items and didn't ask for anything other than the special k with strawberries, could be worse items to ask for. I was thinking to myself they are so good, then Gregory started this moaning screaming noise thing. He sounded like someone who doesn't have control of their vocal cords, or possibly a child with terrets syndrome. I told him he needed to stop doing it. He just seemed to get more and more wound up and pretty soon everyone was staring at this poor kid with special needs.

Once we made it to the cash register, he was flicking rubber bands and spinning the bagging thing, opening and shutting the soda fridge, and making those noises. Then he ran to get on the quarter operated cars. I just looked at him, as I walked out the door, and said "Have fun here, I will come back to get you tomorrow" and I walked out the door. The greeter was laughing. I think he thought I was kidding. But I was ready to leave him there.

But over all it was ok, you know just a fun family trip to the store.

We are home and I need to make a cake, clean the kitchen and really need to finish the laundry! Where does the time go!

Sorry this is ow so boring....

Nothing more than Pure Brain Dumpage

I mentioned the other day about my repeating dream of speeding and breaks going out and not being able to stop in time, therefore ramming my car into something. Life is just going way too fast. But not where I want to go tonight.

I want to sit down on my Freudian lounge and analyze the dream of my mother running around with a butcher knife trying to chop my head off. Ok a little gory but really its not! My neighbor and one of my best friends growing up, Chris B.'s mom had a curio cabinet with old dolls in it. Some that were just the heads. I am guessing the cabinet is what triggered my nightmares, probably triggered the same ones of dolls coming to life trying to kill me...but that is another issue.

Earlier I had this dream all figured out...but all of a sudden it has slipped from my mind like a wet bar of soap in my hands.

My mom plays a huge roll in my life, well duh! Most moms do don't they, good or bad? My mom is wonderful. I love her, flaws and all, but she is mostly perfect to me, but that is because I am the favorite child, ask any of my siblings. I am the favorite. I feared so much of making a mistake growing up, and not being the perfect child. Part of that comes from being the middle child, trying to be the pleaser. Too, it has to do with the fact that I want everyone to like me. I think part of me was afraid that I could never please my mom, and the only way to have her pleased was to preserve me as just a head in a glass cabinet. Nah I just think the Benjamin's glass doll cemetery freaked me out.

I love my mom. And I think with every mother and daughter relationship comes some interesting baggage. I just wonder what kinds of things I am doing in raising my kids packing their baggage, and how much are the therapy bills going to be to unpack.

This morning, my computer was out of commission so I actually took time to read. I read a wonderful article by Pres. Gordon Hinkley on raising children. He mentioned that if people would spend more time worrying about how they are raising their kids, than they do worrying about how bad the world is, the world would be a happier place, well basically his words are much better than mine. But if we raise happy, good kind kids then the world will have good kind people. Right now there isn't much time being spent at home making happy, kind kids. I am trying, I really am.

I love being able to stay home with my kids, though lately I feel like I haven't been doing as great of a job as I should be doing. I guess there is always room for improvement isn't there?

Ok a pat on my back today, grant it this person only spent a few minutes with my kids, but true story:

Eric stayed home today with our sick little boys- Timmy had a fever of 101, and Greg Strep. So I took my sweet little girls to church with me. Surprisingly they weren't doing too bad during sacrament meeting (the mixed adult kid one hour 10 minute long meeting). I don't know but about half way through, Bethany was reading a book, well I like to call it performing her own opera. She can't just read a book she has to turn it into a full blown musical. Emily was yelling at her to give her back her book, and I am trying to quietly shhhh them. So I just pack them up and go into the Relief Society Room (another room with a speaker to hear whats going on in the sacrament room.) We get in there and there is a sister trying to nap, sorry Sister Alger. But I felt better about letting the girls kind of roam while I listened to the last speaker. Then another sister from church came in and started preparing for her class. My girls just stared fascinated with her, as she wrote scriptures on the chalk board. Then the sweet gal lets them doodle on the board, and she actually starts to draw for them. Sacrament is finally over (about fifteen minutes after we got into the room.) So Sister Taylor, said to me "you have the cutest kids and they are so well behaved. I know because I work in a daycare." So that made me feel really good, that my kids as totally out of control I felt they were, received a compliment on having great behavior.

Though why is it that as a mom, it seems my kids are the worst? Why do I giggle at someone else's child for doing the same thing, I want to ground my child for doing? Is it the emotional attachment? Who knows, I just know I am tired and have written way to much jibber, thats not even a word. Oh well, good night and thanks for making it this far!