Life

is bigger, bigger than you and you are not me....is that how that song goes?? there's me in the corner there's me in the spot light, losing my religion..trying to...hmmmmhmmmm

anyway got that song stuck in the head and its making up all kinds of words and filling in the gaps....but man life....seems like it is just spinning beyond my control...and yet I need to stop, and look around and show appreciation for the things I have and not sit here diggin myself deeper into a hole, its hard....but I have realized life is really meant to be enjoyed, even in times of struggles....so what brings me joy?

1. T-Rex is out of the hospital and happier and more full of energy than ever...well he has his slow moments and is still recovering but doing very well. He is suppose to be on oxygen at night but after two nights of him almost strangling himself with the cord, I decided his breathing is doing just fine. We are watching him close but he is doing well. Thanks for the prayers and well wishes.
2. Friends, seems like many times when I find myself in my little pitty party mode, I realize I have lots of friends EVERYWHERE! I mean my goodness I have over 400 friends on facebook, and well I am just amazed I have met that many people.
3. Change.....if it weren't for change and moving around I wouldn't get to know so many different people, and be able to make so many friends..
4. A roof over my head, even if it is some one elses and we hear the running around and chairs moving, I am grateful it is there and that the family is letting us stay in their basement apartment!
5. Plus they have kids my kids age that love to play with them, so its a constant party it seems.
6. Kids...my little kids sure make me smile and have so much energy and life. They sure make life worth living for. G-Man is becoming such a man and so sensitive to others feelings and his surroundings and seems to always be looking out for his mom.
7. Health...we have had our share of colds and the stomach bug lately, but we are for the most part healthy....minus the little lump I found in my breast this week....which of course will turn out to be nothing, but we are doing well as far as our health goes.
8. Family...it is really nice to live in an area where we are surrounded by so much family. They are always so willing to help out and so much fun to hang around.
9. Buses...I am so glad that this school has buses and that my kids can just walk down the street to catch it, and that I don't have to pack everyone in the car and drive through the snow in the early mornings.
10. Walking, this morning I was going to go but the snow and wind were really bad, so I did an exercise video, I so much prefer going outside and being outside. I just love that I can walk and that I really enjoy it.

Have a great day! Nap time is over! Bummer! I just need a few more minutes of peace and quiet...

RSV

It appears that his bronchitis and pneumonia are caused by RSV that hit him what feels like really fast. Anyway, his oxygen dropped to the low 80s and will be on oxygen until he stays in the mid 90s on his own. He was admitted and they plan to keep him there a few days. Getting the kids off to school, and Emily farmed off somewhere, and then I will head to see and spend the few days with him there.

Just when you come up for air....

a big ol' hand reaches and pushes your head back under the water....or so it feels like it.

Its a little after three am, and my husband is at the ER with our little T-REX. He spiked a fever a few days ago, Sunday night, and then when we took him in to the doctor Monday, he had bronchitis and pneumonia, with no other signs, coughing, running nose...nothing...other than well the little weasing...minor detail right....anyway we were surprised more or less.

Today his breathing became more shallow and wheezy and more coughing....coughing is good isn't it? But tonight, as I slept next to him, he began coughing and coughing and coughing followed by very rapid shallow breathing. So hear I sit typing, worrying about how the little guy is doing, while his dad drives to the ER in the snow and probably on very icy roads.

I can't sleep. I probably should have gone with him. I should try sleeping. I do have to work tomorrow.

I started last week working in an Autistic preschool at a near by elementary school. I really like it. I think they like me, because they have asked me to sub all week. I am suppose to only work Thursday and Friday. I enjoy the opportunity to make some money.

Eric is finding out how fun it is to stay home with four kids. Do I feel bad for him? Not at all, sorry sweetie....ok maybe a little since I know how tough it can be. I just hear his little sob....I mean...um just stories about the day....like "t-rex unrolled a whole roll of toilet paper, and while I was cleaning that up, Bee climbed on top of the fridge and got out that very bright red nail polish you bought yesterday and painted herself, her clothes and the kitchen floor. And after we cleaned that up Two pooped her pants...." I just smile, nod and say "I'm sorry" and really I am thinking...."you see what my days are like...and throw in doing four loads of laundry, making calls and (actually I don't really ever make calls just sounded good in my head) loaded and un loaded the dishwasher, and......well you know"

Anyway I am grateful that he is willing to watch the kids and attempt to look for a job during the chaos of tending children. I love you Eric THANK YOU!!

Anyone want to earn a few extra dollars watching two kids in the afternoons, for a couple of hours???

Well I best get some sleep, even though that isn't likely all things considering. I know it will be ok....because I wrote about it and let it out in the air....its just going to be a fun little night spending ER trip.....where is T-Rex's birth certificate so we can get him on MEDICAID???

A Whole Lot of Stuff

Oh my goodness what a week!!!

• We moved!--not far just down the street to a neighbor's basement apartment. We miss my parents but hope they are enjoying the peace and quiet, and that my dad can heal very quickly...which he is doing well so far...not including his little decision to go down a flight of stairs outside in the freezing weather, down another flight of stairs to only be locked out. My niece thinks we live in the "coolest house ever!" I think it has to do with the fact that we have a lazy susan full of snacks :) and me and the kids of course and one of her friends from kindergarten lives above us.




• I took the Census 2010 worker test and passed with flying colors, scoring just a little higher than my husband. Not gloating at all....ok a little.




• T-Rex managed to pull all the keys off not one, but two of our laptops....well we only have two. There is no Y on the computer I am typing on and the space bar doesn't want to work.




• I totally had a nervous brake down, seriously, reason why I have been absent from the computer, nothing a little counseling and drugs can't fix....at least I hope.




• Now everyone one in our family, minus the dad and myself, have thrown up in a week time frame. At least they are spreading it out, as well as spreading those germs around really well....we have been sick a lot since moving to the cold.




• Two hasn't slept in my bed all week! I think she likes having her "own" room, she and Bee share and T-rex and G-man are sharing.




• I applied for a job a few weeks back, and they hired someone before I could get an interview, but the teacher spoke with me then. She called me yesterday and asked if I could come in and interview today. I did, and she hired me on the spot. I started next week. Just two days a week, but its grocery money.




• My favorite cousin got married yesterday and or the day before yesterday? what day is it? Anyway...time flies...I got to take pictures for them and they turned out pretty good. This is one of my favorites....and another one of my favorites...




• And last but not least....sometime somewhere I signed up for guest bloggin, and I so can't remember, but I have the awesome opportunity to share with you a guest blogger. Christa over at the Domestic Goddess is living it up in Alaska, as she mothers her two adorable children. She moved around a bit as a child, with her dad in the army. ==On one of their moves she met her dear sweet heart husband. Her latest craze, besides purses, is the Wii fit, which by the way I am dying to get one....There is a whole group out there using this as their weight loss program, cheaper than a gym membership. Anyway head on over Christa and give her some blogging comment love!!! And keep on playing those video games!

Beeisms!

Sweet Sweet Bee....

I don't know how many of you are familiar with Utah Valley but there used to be a factory called Geneva Steel. Anyway in its old place is still some kind of factory. My mom and Bee were driving to the store and she said "Look Nanny, there is one of those cloud making buildings."

Nanny says "Oh really?!"

"Yeah well that might not be an actual cloud making building and that could just be steam but there are cloud making buildings around."

Then the other morning before my dad had heart surgery, I began to fix her some lunch.

"How about some sausages (polish sausages/hot dogs) for lunch?" I asked.

Bee replied "are those the SAME sausages that made Papa sick?"

"Well yes but eat them."

Before Papa went to the hospital she asked him if she could see his scar after, he said no since it was going to be an upper thigh scar, originally. So later in the day she came up to me and asked "Well can I at least see Papa after he gets his clothes on?"

Now he is going to have a really cool scar to show her. She can't wait to see him back home. Neither can we.

And yesterday morning as I was getting the kids fed and ready for the day, I looked over and T-Rex was sitting in his high chair.

Puzzled I asked "Now how did you get in your high chair?"

Two looked over and said "It's Magic."

When it Rains It Pours!

Things are a little to say the least crazy around here. I could use some prayers, as well as if y'all could send prayers my dad's way.

I got this email from my brother, of course after I had already received the call from my mom, but I was surprised at the different response of my brother and I.

Here's his email:

As you are aware, Dad is going in for a quadruple bypass in the morning. He is at the hospital now and will not be coming home for a week.

I am going to start a fast for him. I think it would be nice if we could keep him in our prayers. The Dr. said that someone in his condition is never as mobile as he has been.

I was with him last week when he passed with flying colors an EKG. Then yesterday he did well on a stress test but the Dr. to make sure did another test which showed blockage in four (maybe 5) arteries. The heart is in good shape, but the arteries supplying blood are nearly all blocked.

As my brother was thinking of fasting and praying for my dad, which I have said several prayers, I had a totally different response which my response was:

First really uncontrollable tears....I mean my dad is having open heart surgery! That is serious stuff....

then second...I made chocolate chip cookies...(my emotional bandaid) ....

then third I thought about the fact that I have a pretty darn not so good heart....and I really have to do something to take care of it.

When I went to visit my dad in the hospital today, he was just going in for a possible stint, artery check, and now won't be out for at least a week, but the doctor said their appears to be congenital damage as well. Which has me with the not so great heart even more concerned....anyway this is not about me.

Then fourth, I felt guilty for writing about my wonderings about heart failure, its like I opened up the ironic skies!

I just pray that the doctors hands are steady tomorrow morning and that all goes well. I am praying for you Dad! Love you so much!!!And I can't get this picture in the right orientation!!!

Wordless Wednesday: BABIES

G-Man was born April 2001, 7.15 lbs

Bee was born in Jan 2003, 8.10lbs (don't you just want to eat those cheeks)

Two was born in May of 2005, 6.10 lbs

T-Rex was born in June of 2007, 6.12 lbs

I was looking through some files and found these baby pictures. Time sure flies!

Here they are today....well yesterday :)

And for more Wordless Wednesdays head over to 5 minutes for mom

I heart Faces, and Totally Talented husband

Over at Two of Kind working on a full House she does a Totally Talented Tuesday! And I have been watching silently but had to post because I am married to a very talented guy. Give him a pantry and he will cook you up a feast fit for kings. Valentine's Day was no different this year, except that he added to is talent by buying me some really cool plates as well! Look at this, doesn't it just look delicious? It was!!!

Then over at http://iheartfaces.blogspot.com/ they have weekly face photo challenges, you can see more post by going there and my entry is at Corrine's Capturings head on over to my other blog and leave me some blog love there too.....here is a sneak peak!

And Y'all Can Play at any TIME!

Do you ever remember hearing the smallest record player (or insert favorite musical instrument here) playing my heart bleeds for you? You know the one little tiny instrument that fits between your pointer and thumb and is played by rubbing the fingers around together? Yeah that one. Go ahead an play it at any point during this post because I will tell you what I might need some cheese with my whine, as well as some great back ground music.

I think if I haven't yet, I am about to lose my mind. Give me a few hours of sleep, and I think I do ok, take away my sleep and I am not fun to be around at all. And not like the little monsters I live with are any fun after little sleep either, but they seem to rebound better.

Saturday night, Bee woke up at about midnight and crawled into our bed, to only roll over and throw up all over our bed and Eric. (yeah for me) After changing our sheets, and bathing her, we decided to make her a bed in the tub. She actually was excited about it, but woke up about every 30 minutes to throw up again. It was a miserable night to say the least.

At least Sunday Eric took the other three to church and then to visit cousins, so it was actually a pleasant day with just Bee.

But then they all came home, we fed them dinner. And life became crazy again. My poor parents, I think we are about to drive them to a nut house, if we haven't already turned their quiet sanctuary into a total mental institution. I think everything my kids do is triple obnoxious because I know there are two other adults that are being driven crazy which compounds my own stress level. (go ahead rub your fingers together....)

We tried to confine the kiddos to our room and oh my gosh they were just crazy. So I went into their room to read. Then they joined me and I was like done. All of you! Off with your heads...I mean off to bed.

So we got them down for the most part with only a little kicking and screaming. But the quiet only lasted but a few minutes, and then crying and screaming started. What the heck! What does a mom have to do to get some sleep around here.

About now I am sure your fingers are sore from rubbing them.

Then T-Rex woke up screaming at about 9:30 (only been asleep for about 30 minutes myself), I quieted him and then put him back to sleep.

Only to be followed out of the room by a screaming crying TWO an hour or so later. Got her to sleep on our floor and then I finally fell back to sleep. But that didn't last when T-Rex started screaming again at 1:30. I went in to try to get him to lay down when fowl scents filled my nostrils. He had the runs.

I picked him up and could feel it in his pj legs. So after changing him and redressing him, he would have nothing to do with his crib, so I put him in my bed. He slept fine until about three when I put him back in his crib, to only have him wake up screaming again at 4 and I put him in bed with me again. To only have his sister TWo climb in our bed at a quarter to five, waking him up and he would no longer sleep.

So Eric took the screaming duo up stairs to see if some warm milk could help them go back to sleep. Lets just say its 8:22 and no one is sleeping. Though Two did crawl back in bed with me for a bit, and we fell asleep until a little before six when I heard T-Rex belting at the top of his lungs...anyway

I took him for a walk and he slept most of the way.

Now how to survive the rest of the day??? Actually the rest of the week? The rest of my uncertain life??

Yeah you see, to top off no sleep, and crying kids and loud noises and not being in our own home, stressing about keeping peace and quiet and order...

Still no job yet.

Whaaaa Whaaa!!!!