My life

Pull out your tissue box and get ready for a sob fest!  Ok maybe I just need to pull out the tissues, oh wait I already did :)...the violins start playing about now!   Back in March I went to the ER, uninsured and pretty much against my wishes.  Having no money to pay them, I knew I shouldn't go.  Well anyway there is a long story to all this, one I don't wish to really share at the time, but yesterday I got a call from a debt collector.  The thing that makes me most mad, is that I paid the ER doctor half at the time, and sent a letter and spoke to someone in the office about filling out a hardship.  I never heard back from them and then I get this debt collection notice and threats of being sued and sent to credit bureaus, and all the collector said to me "Oh its not that much just pay it......blah blah blah!" 

When I told her I could only afford ten dollars..my money for laundry soap this month, she said well you have until the end of the month to pay.  I wonder if she'd take a kidney?  Or maybe I could head to the doctor's office to do work to pay them off, heck I could sit on a swivel chair for two minutes write a prescription and he'd earn his money back.

Anyway so I have days like that, that leave me wondering when this is all going to end, then I have moments like last week.... 

And I have friends, who just call to invite me over and the kids to play, and then pulls out a really cool Christmas craft and we spend the afternoon crafting.  Then I get emails from some people who want to help us out for Christmas or get calls for offers to host our family for Christmas or just get a check from a concerned family member.  Then I am reminded that though it is a time  of struggle but more so a time for great blessings and knowledge that for some reason this is my season to learn and grow.

Still trying to figure out how I can best give this season! Because I am truly blessed.

Modern Miracles

For those of you that don't know, actually not sure who really reads my blog anymore..not that I am begging for comments...ok maybe a little, but anyway there may be some that don't know...my husband has been unemployed for almost a year. We have spent our savings just living and putting quite a bit in starting up the restaurant. Fortunately we have been able to barely scrape by with a little bit of help.

It has been rough and the last few months have been even rougher on us financially. Though I have really learned what we can live with and without...I don't need cable or satellite...nor do I need to shop other than the grocery store. I don't need to eat out. My kids can get their clothes from DI. I can cut their hair. I don't need caller ID..I just don't answer the phone.

Which leads me to my latest blessing. I star 69 my phone often, and it is always a 800 number. Or on my cell phone I do have caller id. I still have my Texas number and often get missed dialed Texas numbers. Tuesday my phone rang and it was an unknown Texas number. Prepared to tell them they had the wrong number I answered.

"Hello."

"Hello is this Correeen"

Shoot someone calling me that doesn't know me. "Man who wants my money?" I say to myself.

"Yes this is she."

"This is Suzie from Capital Anesthesiologists. I have been going through our audits and found a bill regarding G's surgery in 2007."

Crap how much do I owe them....

"Uh-uh"

"Yes you paid us...and it appears that United Healthcare paid us to."

"Ok"

"Sorry for the delinquency in responding to this."

"No problem"

still wondering how much I owed them.

"It appears we owe you a refund. Again I am really sorry for the delay."

"Not a problem." Still stunned that they owe me money.

"I just need to get your current address to mail you the check."

"Ok...did you say you owe me money?"

"Yes...for $xxx..."

"Really....you are going to send me a check?" I really was surprised its been two and a half years.

"Yes...kind of nice isn't it. And we really are sorry its taken us this long."

"Well thank you for calling me. My address is...."

"You are in Utah? Good thing you kept your cell number."

"I know!!" I fought back the tears. "Thank you!"

I hung up the phone and Eric asked me who I was talking to. I just started crying and couldn't speak. After a few minutes I told him that the hospital owed us enough money to cover our rent for December.

I am so grateful they were delinquent in paying me and so grateful they called me now. Life has been rough and even finding enough money to pay for shampoo and toilet paper has been hard. And had I got this refund two years ago, I would of probably eaten it..seriously taken the kids out to eat...bought a few toys maybe paid some bills. But right now the timing couldn't be better. I am grateful someone is watching out for us...even when I have felt very alone lately. I know I am not.

Miracles happen. Blessings do abound.

A normal day...in my normal life....

Just a little before five am Bee crawled into my bed, meeting up with T-Rex and Two who joined us sometime between eleven when I fell asleep and five. Bee trying to make room in the overstuffed bed shoved T-Rex's perpendicular feet away, causing him to wake up. For about forty minutes I fought the three of them to fall back to sleep. I finally threw my hands up in the air in defeat and sent them down stairs.

Few moments later they were all back upstairs begging for food. I made them go back and play while I read and well actually played a little cafe world on Facebook...didn't want my pies to rot. Anyway I got off my duff and headed to the kitchen to start up some oatmeal. Things were going ok. Then T-Rex decided he didn't want his oatmeal and dumped it on the floor. Bee needed more milk on hers...ooopsss she poured too much all over the table.

Some what with filled stomachs they ran down stairs and played in our newly reorganized and cleaned basement...because yesterday I saw an awesome solid wood dresser that I had to have. After calling a friend and a neighbor seeing us try to put this too large piece of furniture into my van, it was stuffed in with the door opened and my friend holding on for dear life.

It made it home and into my basement. Anyway I went down stairs to make sure it was staying clean down there, and then realized I had laundry I needed to switch out, oh and I needed to start the dishwasher. So up the stairs I ran to only be called down by the words "Mom come quick the bathroom is flooding!" So the dishwasher half loaded, oh yeah and I started to up load pictures to Heritage Makers and had to check that real quick, then grabbed some old towels and headed to the flooded poopy watered bathroom floor....and all the while thinking where is Eric??

Get the bathroom toweled...still need to clean and throw those in the washer because I didn't want to start that knowing we needed showers and the dishwasher needed to be run....not a lot of hot water around here.....then it was time to get the kids off to school...say family prayer and then out the door....but of course it isn't that easy, G-man wants to wear the same outfit from yesterday "cuz it is n't dirty" and Bee won't let me brush her hair and can't find her shoes. But we make it out the door.

When I returned, the mess yelled at me...still oatmeal...still mess down in the bathroom....and yet I still need to find time to write. All the while Two complaining she doesn't want to go to the doctors again today. I can't blame her she went Monday and will be getting glasses in a few days, went to a well checkup yesterday and now going today for some tests to figure out what is wrong with her overactive infected bladder....And T-rex decided to poop on the bathroom floor, tub walls, bathroom door and floor....so I took a break from posting to clean that...but all the while wondering really is this a normal life??? Is this my normal life?

I found myself this morning just wishing my life would go back to normal...but then I thought what is normal? Do I wish it to be a year ago living in Hawaii, with out furniture of sorts and our personal belongings? Or back even further when Eric had a steady job and came home at "normal" hours, and we got paid every two weeks? Or days when I woke up by an alarm clock and headed off to work? Or to have just "normal" kids that sit and watch tv, eat when given food, keep their diapers on?

I think "normal" doesn't exist....normal is what is now and what just happens daily...so all I ask is can I just have an unusual day?

Its Potty Time My Little Peeping Toms

Walking down the aisle, reaching for the last few items, I tried to talk my body into "waiting" until we get home. "I can hold it...I live five minutes away. I only have a few more items to get....I can wait" I kept telling myself as I pushed my shopping cart with Two running, rather being dragged by me through the store.

"No I can not wait." I said to no one in particular. "Lets go Two!" I make her run.

I shoved the cart by the door, grabbed T- Rex from the seat and headed for the handicap stall. Holding T-Rex in one hand and trying to unbutton my pants, and getting Two to come in the stall with me was a little challenging.

I sat down still holding T-Rex. I was just glad to have made it to the bathroom. Then Two plops on the floor and peers under the stall.

"Mommy there's a lady in there."

"I know. Get up off the floor. Stop looking under the stall"

I reached over to pull her back, trying to keep my bare bum on the seat and balanced with T-Rex still in hand. She stands up. Then loud and proud said, "Mom why are you pooping.Its stinky. Why does pooh stink so much?"

And before I can answer she pops back down, with T-rex with her.

"Mom she is pulling up her pants."

"Two get up!...T-Rex...stop...get...over here" I ordered as he slipped further under the stall...

"I am sorry."....to which I got no response. I sat and was hoping she was done, considering the update Two gave me.

"Flush" ..... Flush, Flush.... Two found the little black button on the back of the toilet. Now that my back side is sufficiently wet, I hold both of my kids by their waist bands.

Two and T-Rex are under my control for a few seconds...plop! Back on the ground they went.

"She is still sitting!"



"Two!!! I am so sorry!!!!"

I hurriedly finish up thinking "I will beat her out of the stalls to the sink!"

Hoping to not have to face our poor bathroom victim, off we go to wash our hands. We were almost in the clear, drying our hands when out she came. I quickly dry their hands and apologize again, when the bathroom door opens, and in walks a mullet haired, baggy red U of U shirt, over stuffed jeaned woman.

"Mom, Mom....why is there a man in here?"

Oh my goodness can I just ignore that comment??

"No Sweetie that's a woman."

I grabbed my kids and headed out of the bathroom as I left the words..."I am sorry."